Finances

[GrinchAnInch]

Things are not great between my husband and I, if we do end up separating what do
I do with regard's to his business? I have been a stay at home mum for years to enable him to work and set his business up. Should I just ask for half the homes value or should I ask his business and pension to be included? I really don’t know what is fair as I haven’t contributed financially for many years. We still have a teenager and I think he would want 50/50 custody so no maintenance would be included. I’m hoping it won’t come to us splitting but unfortunately things are not sustainable as they are currently and I just want to know what to do if the worst happens.

@GrinchAnInchAll marital assets are included. You should see a solicitor as a business is involved because a valuation will be needed. Of course the pensions should be included and that includes yours if you have one, plus the house and savings. If assets were accrued whilst you were married they are marital assets and don’t seek less than you are due.

The starting point is half of all assets owned by the household, so yes pensions are included, savings and potentially businesses though dependent on ownership structure. Negotiating a settlement you are both comfortable with however is preferable to fighting through the court system as the only winners are lawyers. You may find that you can have a suitable settlement agreement that you are both happy with which doesn’t touch some assets but that depends a bit on other assets.

Pensions and business was will need valuing and all assets ( and debts) are in the pot

you might not get 50:50 of everything but could get more on some, trade off others etc

but the starting point is knowing the size of the pot which is available for division

All assets should be included in a calculation and split. It may be hard to split the business value and keep it going so if H keeps that you may get a higher share of house equity and pensions to reflrct that. May well be more than 50% as your earning/pension/ saving power has been permently reduced by your traditional roles. You will be expected to get a job though.

It will also depend on what the business is / ie is it just him ( eg a plumber ) vs. Business with employees, tangible and intangible assets etc

Thank you for this, I’m now looking into housing as if he wants to separate then I can’t keep sleeping in the same bed anymore and he can’t afford to leave, I do have a job now although not great pay it’s better than minimum wage so I would need help with the rent until our joint home is sold. I am reluctant to give him 50/50 child care as my daughter is disabled and I don’t think she would be comfortable with him helping her bathe etc. I’m just trying to get all my ducks in a row but finding things very difficult at the moment (as per my other thread).

@hahabahbag DD is a divorce barrister and of course gets paid but if a client is being seriously screwed over, she’s worth her weight in gold. Especially where a lot of assets are involved. Of course people have to pay but they can gain an awful lot!

@GrinchAnInch You absolutely do not have to agree 50:50 child care. The needs of dc come first and they are not a cake to be divided up. The agreement is frequently 5/9 nights in a 14 night cycle. 9 nights with the resident parent. Or even less to dad (non resident parent) if circumstances make this difficult. Take school, living arrangements, health matters, clubs, activities and friends into account for dc as well as travel. Dc need stability and you can argue strongly that you are best placed to provide this and wish to be the resident parent with the majority of time with dc.

With a clean break divorce, the family home will be sold and you cannot go back to dh for drip drip money and courts don’t like one person staying in the family home for years after the divorce, as that’s not a clean break and deprives the other person of funds. So do think about living arrangements asap.

I really don’t know what is fair as I haven’t contributed financially for many years.

Doesn't matter. In a divorce, your contribution to the home/raising children is considered equal to his financial contribution. Don't sell yourself short, make sure you get your fair share of all assets.
You also have a valid reason to not go 50-50 with the children.