Hi, been married 16 years, two DC, mortgage, recent extension on home etc etc. I was 25 when I met DH and it's been a rough road for us for many reasons. Long story short I feel I'm growing apart from him, do I seriously need to consider a life without him, the dream, the home the family unit etc.
My 11yo son has serious complex pshycological needs so currently not in school, and it's very very very hard on us all.
DH is emotionally avoidant, stonewalls, drinks heavily but is high functioning and a very very good man. Has a good local steady job, no aspire to progress, so always tired, great at DIY so does keep busy but doesn't like going out, no hobbies, no interest in much stuff really. I'm peri menopausal, on a fitness journey, in a career i love where I'm looking to progress very soon, like going out, but devoted to helping my boy rn. I do all the finances, cleaning, food shopping, all the kids stuff, appointments, family days holidays etc. I earn the higher wage which is no issue I've accepted that I'm the ambitious one so all fine. But our difficulty lies with how we are towards each other on a daily basis. It hasnt felt comfortable for years and years. Im walking on eggshells with him as he has a temper but that has improved as he's taking ADs now but still he is downbeat til he has a drink. Things got very distant a couple of years back and after trying endlessly to get him to hear me out on what I felt we needed in our marriage, I had a very brief fling with another man (one kiss) which I told dh about and we have since been working on fixing things since. He says he can't do life without me. Two years on and there are massive improvements and good times but we still keep falling into the same patterns of not getting on. How do you figure out what you really want when I could lose soooooo much if we were to split. I don't know how to find these answers. Please share some stories x