Mine has been a LONG time coming. The kind of drip, drip, drip where you can't quite believe it's that bad, and everyone has ups and downs, right? But then the actually abusive incidents pile up until eventually you're going "what just happened?" And then you plan to leave... but get terrible legal advice (he will get custody because you work outside the home and he doesn't, you will need to keep paying the mortgage, and pay him maintenance because he's disabled...) and on top of that he threatens you... so you back off.
But you wait. Eventually you snap and post a thread on here about him wanting nude pics and it takes off and goes a bit viral with everyone in chorus going "ewwwww!!! LTB!!!" but you are still biding your time.
I filed the bloody thing on Monday and yesterday got notification that it's been accepted and so the 20-week clock has started. I did the "ducks in a row" bit MN always says about first: lawyer (decent, paid for, in depth advice this time and the law has changed since 10 years ago), counsellor specialising in coercive control, IDVA... and the realisation I have an amazing support network of friends and family.
Under no illusions. It's going to be seriously difficult while we're still living under the same roof for all this time. He has already been weird (but that reinforces my decision). And it's galling that he will get at least 50% of the equity despite not having paid a penny since 2010 when he quit work because of ill health... but that's the price of freedom, right?
Just wanted to say to anyone who remembers back about 21 years (!!) to when a new mother called "verso" had a terrible birth, injuries, and then the worst possible excuse for a (D)H barely lifting a finger... and again in 2008 when she foolishly had a second child with him (why?!) and history repeated... (except our two daughters are AMAZING so no regrets, right?) anyway... the power of MN... somehow I always knew this was wrong...
AND I AM GOING TO BE FREE!!!!!