For context, we split up in 2024 and I'm still waiting for a charging decision! We have no contact although the kids do and see him for a few hours here and there.
I sent a note (confidential in and envelope) with the kids asking him to pay something, anything. School shoes alone are ridiculously expensive. He cant afford & has no intention. I work part time and get uc, dla for one child & carers. My employment is limited by my kids needs, and always has been. Whilst together we were propped up by tax credits but he refuses to acknowledge that.
He's self employed and was making 15k a year when we were together. He's now living alone and paying the bills to go with that. If he got a job on minimum wage he'd be making more and able to live comfortably. If he cancelled youtube premium/gym membership he could give something.
My dilemma is he's emotionally abusive. He tells the kids that when he gets a new gf he'll have kids with her and won't see them. He'll ghost them for weeks cos he's taking time for himself. Im concerned that if I claim he'll try get them to stay overnight when they don't want to. He'll obviously blame me when he cant pay his bills. We're managing so I'm unsure and keep going back and forth, but I also know that the kids could really use that money.