EOW and one night a week arrangement with 7 year old and 9 month old

[Pinkpanther23]

I’m divorcing my emotionally abusive husband and have a baby, I’m distraught to say the least.

How to manage separation anxiety with baby, and how on earth to arrange school holiday split?

I feel like my world is falling apart but I can’t stay with a man who treats me this way.

I split with my ex when my children were 1 and 3. He had EOW and one day in the week. It was very hard. I did all I could in terms of preparing my children. Talking to them about giving themselves cuddles if they missed me . I then distracted myself when they were away and made sure I used the time effectively. It was a long time ago now but I so remember the pain of it. I got angry with other mums who had been through it who told me I would get used to it. As would the children. But it is true. It’s part of normal life now with my older children.

you are doing a very hard thing. But it is the right thing .

good luck op. Maybe try telling yourself that you are doing this hard thing now but that it means the hard will be out of the way in a few years and you and your children will have a calm happy home . Good luck.

I am sorry you are going through this. 9 months seems very young for overnights with the non resident parent. Perhaps you could offer daytime contact a few times a week instead? I feel this would also be more developmentally appropriate.

I’d probably wait until baby is 1yr old before overnights. Baby will be a little upset at first, but will adapt. As will 7yr old. It’s a tough time, but everyone will adapt.

Are you sure he’s not going to want 5050?

I do overtime when I don't have my kids, I also joined the gym. It's been the best thing I did, I can go there and no one looks at me, I can go alone, no questions asked. I highly recommend it.