Feeling horrendous after breakup

[Meg878o]

Is it just me? I'm 3 weeks into a split from my children's father, they are 11, 8 and 6. I am really struggling to function, I can't eat, I've lost stones in weight, the constant anxiety and tight chest is too much to bear continually. It hits me like a ton of bricks when I wake up and then I get no relief through the day. Please tell me its not just me that feels like this and that things get better? My eldest is also struggling with the separation and seems to have alot of anger towards me which just massively increases my anxiety. They all refuse to see their father too so I'm getting no respite. Please tell me it gets better from a very anxious, broken mummy.

Im almost 11 weeks in, its easier in some ways but im still struggling, its not what I wanted and hes filed for divorce. Ive lost almost 3 stone in weight.

He was basically dad to my older 2, raised them for 11 years and broke their hearts, we have a 5 year old together and he asks things like why did you make my daddy leave, why doesnt daddy love you, when is daddy coming home, are you going to leave me. He sleeps in my bed next to me, cries if I dont stay next to him in bed at night. He left 3 days before Christmas! I hate seeing him when he collects our son as I still love him and never wanted any of this.

I work, come home, spend time with my kids, my house is soooo much cleaner and tidier since he left, but I see him everywhere in the house, I see him when I look at our son and it breaks my heart. When I say let's go out for the day he asks for daddy to come too.

I have good days and bad days, some days ive hated him and swore id never have him back, then he sends me a message saying thankyou for being such a good mum youre amazing and my walls come down and I cant stop thinking of him. It hurts everyday. This is my 2nd divorce so I know it does get better. I cant imagine ever doing this again though!

I know there’s rarely a good time but to leave 3 days before Christmas seems very unkind.

Why are they refusing to see dad ?

did the separation come as a complete shock ?

3 weeks is very soon- very raw. it will get better even though you can’t see that now

try to eat a little, soup /broth/ toast /piece of fruit etc, just light stuff to help you.

He's never been a very hands on dad that's ever taken them anywhere by himself so I think that has a part to play

Do you feel able to say what has happened?

3 weeks is still very fresh and what you’re feeling is completely normal, it will get better I promise you that, but there is no time line but you will come out the other side.