Married 28 years, Dd 26, Ds 24, dh has anger issues, ea etc, I finally said early January I’m done, he’s begged and pleaded, booked us couples therapy which we’ve been to weekly since then. I’ve been kind - really, not thrown mud or told even 10% of the things he’s done/said over the years. I’ve been the bigger person, done the right thing. Last week he had eventually agreed to telling the dc, having refused until that point, which meant I hadn’t told my family as it felt wrong to tell other people before them. ‘D’h told me he would not hold back how he didn’t agree we should separate and he would not hide his emotions as he felt they needed to know how devastated he was so I was very anxious that my kids were facing an ambush from him making an awful conversation far worse. DH let me do most of the talking except to interject with things he didnt agree with or to point out my ‘lies’, and when I’d done my ds launched into a 20 min interrogation wanting to know the exact reasons I wanted to leave, relentlessly. And that’s when I smelled a rat - turns out ds has know for four weeks, but Dd has been getting daily crying phone calls from dh since the day after I told him I was leaving, and the whole time dh has been feeding them his concerns for my mental health and obviously sworn to secrecy, the dc have accepted his version of events. Dd even admitted to me that during their secret convos Ds had investigated the possibility of getting me sectioned! Wtf do I do?