Can my dad pay husband off. Will judge agree to a simple financial/consent order?

[Lookingforward864]

My dad bought our house for us 100% but the house is in mine and husbands name. We drew up a declaration of trust with the solicitor 80% ownership me and 20% ownership husband. Husband didn't pay anything in, this was just a gesture of good will from my dad. On the land registry it says we are tenants in commen.

We are separating. My dad is willing to pay him 30% of the current value for him to leave. I think this is favourable. I then keep the house .

There are no other assets involved, no savings, I have no pension and he has quite a small on which im not interested in.

If we all agree, can we avoid a complicated financial order process , not fill in Form E financial questionnaire and just keep it very simple?

The op didn’t say anything about financial upkeep. He’s paid the household bills for the family, but he would have had to do that even if they were renting, and doesnt mean you then own some of the house . If he paid for an extension or something, then sure, but the op hasn’t detailed that he did. She said he spent all his money, inferring on himself.

I don’t disagree, in fact I was one of the first saying that he has contributed so the op saying he hasn’t was incorrect. But that doesn’t mean people should now be laying in to the op saying his contribution to the family was higher, when we don’t know that because she hasn’t said how the parenting was split.

So your dad bought your house so no mortgage/rent, and he has a high enough salary to earn 3x as much as you ... but you think there is no pension, no savings, no assets after 23 years?

Where has all the money gone? Did he opt out of enrollment in a pension? Why don't you have even a small one if you have a min wage job? I think you need to do form E and make sure you are not being bullshitted.

Oh, I see. Yea, they both contributed what they could/had by the sounds of it.

But it’s surely relevant that it was HER father that bought the house? Not his. And that they had whatever the document was drawn up.

She said:

He pays the bills. The bills are quite high, high council tax, rates, gas electricity. The house is large. And pays for large things such a Xmas, holidays, a new appliance etc.

She also said she “can’t save,” presumably because of her earnings.

He wouldn’t have “had” to do that if they rented, or in this case, if OP had financially contributed more - she also would have had savings of her own.

He didn’t actually have to do it at all, he could have asked her to put more in and find employment that allowed that. Plenty of us do contribute 50/50, in all ways.

It appears from the outside that OP has relied on two men to fund her, and now wants one of them to come out of it worse off because he earns more, like that wasn’t an option for her too.

I don't think it matters that it was her dad that bought it. He gave it to them and it became a marital asset by default. He isn't a party in their divorce. The paperwork could have some relevance but it's far from certain that it won't just go in the pot with the other marital assets.

If love to see how different some of the responses would be if the OP was the husband in this scenario.

MN tends to side with women, rightly so in most instances. The fact that most people are not on this thread means that OP really is being unreasonable.

Yes I am relieved to see its not the overwhelming majority that are completely ok with it.

Divorce finances is not about what happened in the past or what is fair. It’s about who needs what.

Yes I did learn this the hard way 😂

You are seeing a solicitor which is the right thing to do. Mumsnet views are not the right thing to take to base your views on. In terms of fairness, I do think the house needs to be split 50/50. It is a marital asset. It is not really relevant that your father gave you both a big gift on getting married. He has paid the bills on the house for some time and will therefore have contributed to running costs. Divorce often fears unfair, particularly for women. It often feels even more unfair for women who have not got married and can often find themselves out on their ear with their children.

@Lookingforward864what’s going to happen to your bills ? Can you pay them?

@Lookingforward864 and her dad are going to walk away from their meeting tomorrow with the solicitor feeling very dejected if they are hoping that this deed of trust trumps a long marriage.

Ive read through all the comments.

Husband has only been in a high paying job for 4 years. The first 10 years of our relationship we were both on minimum wage.
The next 5 years he was on about 30k. Last 5 years 60k.

We have had 3 houses over that time, my dad has bought each one . The first two were in my name only.
Then we got married and had 2 children , dad purchased the 3rd house and we decided together that Husband be put on the deeds and he agreed to the 80/20 .
In addition to this my dad paid for us to go to florida twice and has paid for my husbands 16k car.
My husband has always been bad with money and took out loans etc.

I was a sahm for 8 years , I raised the kids whilst he climbed the career ladder.
I then went back to work 3 years ago. I work in an office.
With the 20% and his income he can easily afford to rent or buy a decent property in our area.
Once hes gone our bills would reduce, less food, one car tax less, one car insurance less, single person council tax etc. I could afford the bills.

Weve been married 10/11 years

Is your husband saying he wants half?

And im sorry but I dont agree with hes paid for everything. He has paid for what he would pay for if he lived alone or had a different family MINUS a £1500 a month mortgage!
I dont deny that I have been spoilt and im very lucky.

I also havent mentioned here as wanted to keep separate that he is a vile man and a terrible parent

Once hes gone our bills would reduce, less food, one car tax less, one car insurance less, single person council tax etc. I could afford the bills

If he's been paying all the bills then once he's gone they'll be no "our," but yes, his bills may reduce but your out goings on bills will go up.

Unless your dad will be stepping into your DH's shoes and paying them for you.

He hasn’t.

He didn’t have to pay all of the household bills, he could have said that you were going 50/50 on all costs, beyond the mortgage that neither of you had to pay.

It’s also not a given he’d have had to pay a £1500 mortgage, because many people pay half of that each too.

Being a SAHM mother with the lions share of costs covered by either your dad or your husband, is a luxury that neither had to give you.

To repay him for that luxury by allowing him 20% of what is all of your family home, when he’s worked to pay the majority of the bills for that home, is out of line IMO.

Being a SAHP isn’t for me, evidently it is for you, but it’s a luxury he didn’t have to give you.

Such a vile man your Dad bought him a car? Strange in those circumstances my Dad wouldn't have done. He hated my exh and wouldn't have bought him a coffee let alone a car- or paid towards a house in those circumstances either.

I kept my horrific marriage troubles private as I was too scared to tell anyone , especially my dad because its his money.
Now they know the truth they want me away from him as quick as possible

Unfortunately you’re still ignoring the law.

it’s a long marriage and the house is a marital
asset. He’s entitled to his fair share - which might be honouring the 20% share or it might mean more and a judge overturning it. No one here can say whether that will happen but. Judge can certainly disregard the declaration of trust if they don’t believe it fair,

his behaviour also doesn’t impact settlement.

if he agrees had independent legal advice and agrees the 20-30% then it may well be accepted. If he doesn’t and it ends up in court he may well get more

I’d have mentioned that before nearly 100 replies.