I am beside myself - my husband was financially and emotionally abusive after our first child, and got better through therapy, for a long time.
We've had another baby and he's started again. This time the worst was after an argument, making his knuckles bleed by smashing up something in the house and telling me it was my fault in addition to the gaslighting and volatility.
He is full of charm and is actually a good attentive Dad, but I know he is abusive to me now no doubt about it. His family are narcissisitc and live in a different country - I'm terrified of our kids being over there without me.
The issue is it is hard to proove. I have reacted in the past to him and once twisted his arm as he was berating me to get him to stop and he plays on that to say I am absuvie and that it's a cycle we are both in. I am surprised I actually haven't punched him one, the maddening way he behaves.
I can't relax in my own home and he's said he will leave and is completely fine about the relationship ending it seems. It's eery. He's just had a big loss too so clearly it's re-triggered these traits.
How on earth do I explain to my 7 year old? When he moves out? And she wants to call and see him loads. I'm thinking EOW one night then one dinner in the weekday to begin.
He's not hit me, and the courts will allow him access for sure so keeping her away will backfire.
My Mum is saying she feels sorry for him and when I went to stay encouraging me to make sure he gets to see our kids before bed as that's fair. She of course sees the mainly charming side.