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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Please help

5 replies

Gracie190 · 22/02/2026 15:43

So we had been together for 12 years. We had 2 kids and our youngest was 4 months at the time. Before he told me what had happened I knew something was just off. He was like please babe don’t do this and then he told me. Before I knew it he’d packed he’s bags to go back to his moms and told em he wasn’t sure he wanted to be with me anymore .So it was a one night stand from someone he worked with. He was drunk and said he had no feelings. We tried for a couple of weeks but he was just so cold towards me. Then he said I live in just not in love with you. However prior to cheating he would tell me everyday how beautiful I was, how much he loves me and writes monologues in cards. Everyone saw how better she was with me We’d been through a lot to be honest. I’d lost my dad and he even carried his coffin, I had postnatal depression, I lost my Nan.
Anyway we decided to take the kids on holiday and ended up sleeping together on 2 separate occasions. I then found messages on his phone that suggested he was seeing this other woman. He swore on the kids lives nothing was going on and then I found out he had been seeing her and sleeping with her.
Anyway we decided to take the kids on holiday and ended up sleeping together on 2 separate occasions. I then found messages on his phone that suggested he was seeing this other woman. He swore on the kids lives nothing was going on and then I found out he had been seeing her and sleeping with her. He then ended it with her and we stupidly started sleeping together. I went no contact with him for about a week and he said how much he missed me.
we have now been trying for a year and he has gone from staying 1/2 nights a week to 5/6 nights. We both said we’re happy and get on better than ever, however he still says he’s feelings aren’t there and he’s no closer to moving back in. He is affectionate, loving. He just says he thinks I deserve better and will never get over what he done to me and the kids. He said he still doesn’t recognise who he is, this is now 18 months later. I don’t know what to do

OP posts:
searchforthesun · 22/02/2026 15:46

He’s having his cake and eating it. Look after yourself and get rid of him. I’m sorry he has treated you so badly.

Gracie190 · 22/02/2026 15:51

Do I need to give him no contact

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 22/02/2026 15:52

You should stop sleeping with him. You’re doing the pick me dance and trying to win him over with sex and attention which he will be enjoying but it sounds like there’s too much water under the bridge and he has the ick. Sleeping with him will only delay the day that you have to start getting over this relationship- it’s the equivalent of using a plaster over a bullet hole.

Parky04 · 22/02/2026 16:12

He has got a cushy life hasn't he! Have some self respect and ditch him for good!

millymollymoomoo · 22/02/2026 18:21

You can’t go no contact as you have children together.

you can however, say you’re finished and only message about the children and start setting contact arrangements in place

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