Give me Strength

[crazylittlethingcalledlife]

Just signed separation agreement yesterday, but still living together. He has to buy me out, but it will take time and I’m not going anywhere until I have cash in hand. Meanwhile I’m trying to buy a house, crazy bidding going on so that’s stressful.

I feel like I’m going crazy with everything on my plate. I can’t wait for the light at the end of the tunnel but it seems so far away still. He’s a selfish git. and while it’s mostly amicable he has zero manners or consideration.

eg when I’m cooking I always offer to make more for him or any of the children that are around. He’s just now cooked himself a full steak dinner, I’ve been sitting here reading my book and he never offered me anything.

i really don’t know why I expect anything otherwise from him, he’s always been a selfish self-absorbed git.

im just moaning, feeling sad today and feel like I’ll never get away from all this pain.

This is probably the hardest bit now when you’ve accepted it’s over and emotional energy will be low, but probably feel very far from freedom. I bet it’s tough. Well done for getting out of it and for being generous in offering to share meals. Be kind to yourself, you will look back and think “my god how did I do that” but you’ve made the big step in ending it! I speak as an older woman who had an intolerable situation in my 30’s, tried so hard to make it work and couldn’t -but got out and now in my 60’s look back on almost thirty years of freedom and think how grateful I am I stood up to him and got out. Good luck

It just feels at the moment like it will never end, I know it will but it’s such torture. I can’t wait to move on and have my own space that will be mine and be able to come home to a safe space. It still seems like it will never actually happy. I have no regrets, but I wish it would happen more quickly