How do we split assets

[ChangeTheProphecy]

I’ll start by saying that I know I also need legal advice, however I’m hoping to get an idea of what is reasonable before taking that step.

DH and I are divorcing and it’s currently fairly amicable and I’m keen to keep it that way. However he has been given a lot from his parents as early inheritance. He has one house (approx £240k, mortgage free) that he rents out, a parcel of land (£100k, does Airbnb in summer) and he paid the deposit on the family home which we’ve lived in for 15 years. I have savings but have not been given any money. I have paid half of the mortgage and it’s usually me who buys the big ticket items. I earn more and he doesn’t really work in a stable job.

Ive said that I won’t contest his rental property or his Airbnb business but he’s also saying that he wants half the family home. Buying him out would wipe out all of my savings and leave me with a larger mortgage but I could just about do it.

is what he is asking fair or should I didn’t heels in and go for maybe a 70:30 split as I’ll also be having primary custody of the DC.

Do either of you have pensions?

When was he gifted these assets from his parents? If they have been part of your lives for a while and he has been using them to offset daily living expenses, it is fair to consider them marital assets.

you need to work out the value of everything altogether- house equity, pensions, rental, land, savings etc and then see how much 50% would be. You want to keep as much of your pension in tact as possible and then as much equity as possible.

I know you want to keep things amicable OP, but in your shoes I would definitely seek legal advice.

Did you initiate the divorce and now feel guilty?

His ask is a total piss take.

Honestly I think its fair enough for you to say...
"If you want half the house then the land and btl are back on the table"

If you have multiple children (2+) and primary custody you should get more assets.

You should think very hard about the following types of scenarios.

1. He marries again (has more children... or doesnt) and leaves everything to his wife and nothing to your existing children.

1. You have a high paying job - cool. You get laid off at 49 because of a RIF or whatever... are you walking into another job?

1. You randomly develop health problems or have an accident (i was PERFECTLY healthy until 18months ago. Last year I spent probably 90 days(?) or so in a&e or inpatient hospital and had 3 surgeries. I was collecting medical notes at one point because I thought i'd be fired and need to apply for PIP. It was awful)

It really does happen more than you think....

Bluntly I think you should be looking for 70% of total assets irrespective of early inheritance being "his" its not its marital assets. and maybe settle for 60..he can trade that off against the family home and if needed take out a mortgage or the rental and give you cash.

Dont forget pensions presumably yours is decent

Thank you. We do both have pensions and they’re fairly similar (mine is probably a bit more). The assets were bought with money gifted by his parents and the income from both goes towards household bills. I’m happy to leave them entirely in his hands as he is unlikely to get much more but I suppose I still have inheritance to come. It’s really just the house I’m worrying about.

@SalmonOnFinnCrisp i honestly hadn’t thought about those scenarios, thank you

Ignore people suggesting you should be getting a larger percentage overall, that simply isn’t the case anymore unless there’s mitigating circumstances, you earn more so there isn’t. The starting point is 50% of all assets so the question is what is your family home worth vs the rental properties? If it’s worth more than you will be needing to split the difference but if his assets are worth more than the family home then it’s likely a court would award you the house but you would be responsible for the mortgage entirely

The family home is worth about the same as the other assets combined but I do feel bad that he paid the deposit all those years ago so it feels unfair for me to take the whole thing. However my gut feeling is it’s unfair of him to be stamping his feet and demanding 50% of it when I’m trying to be reasonable.

Don't start by feeling guilty and giving things up to keep him amicable. It stops being amicable anyway once you start discussing finances, in my experience.

Surely by you buying all the big ticket items his deposit is irrelevant now.
if his other properties are worth same as your house then maybe offer him a few £ to piss off to compensate for his deposit. How much did he pay?

No way. If the other assets are roughly equal to family home, that would seem to be a logical split.

It is all in the pot as marital assets.

He is being unreasonable and you need a good lawyer. He wants to leave you scraps

At the end of the day, a judge will have to sign any split off as being fair to both parties, so everything has to be taken into account - length of marriage, when assets were accumulated and where from, and pensions etc.

Yes, try to keep things amicable, but not at the expense of your future financial stability.

Thank you. We were going to try and go down the one lawyer route but I’m starting to worry that he’s going to play hard ball. If we do try the one lawyer route do they also give advice on the splitting of assets and will they call out if one person is being screwed over?

Fuck that . I must be a bitch then because if he’s going after the family home then I’d be going after his assets. Sorry but he can’t expect to keep all his houses and have yours too. Go 50/50 on it all

well I 💯 see where he’s coming from.

Will you inherit later ?

unfortunately for him the law most likely will include those assets and he won’t be able to ring fence them so they’ll be in the pot for division. but if you’re the higher earner you won’t be able to argue for more than 50% and he might be able to argue for a higher overall split based on his earnings and financial contribution ( ie from inheritance not through marital effort )

You definitely need legal
advice not people on here telling you you’re entitled to 70% of it all!

For your own sake, and to show him, I would write as full a list of those big things you have funded from your earnings. It may well help him understand that you have contributed as much to the family assets as his inheritances.

@BeeHive909 hes going after his inheritance and his share of family home - that’s not unreasonable. Unlikely to be successful but still an unreasonable starting exoevifrom him. I expect he’ll soon realise that’s not going to happen

and his parents will rightly be unhappy and rue the day they gave it to him early when he’s now going to lose it!

He’s not stamping his feet and being unfair just for wanting 50% of the marital home that he has contributed to, in the same way that it would be reasonable for you to want the other assets to be taken into account.

50/50 is the fair starting point. You might have the children living with you for more of the time but they will still need beds to sleep in and a roof over their heads on the nights they stay with their father,

Not unreasonable no but she’s the one thays going to have primary control of the kids so she will get more and rightly so. Unfortunately for him marriage is about joint assets and the inheritance properties are joint. If he won’t give her a decent portion of the house for his own bloody kids I’d be going for half of everything.

Have you both always worked full time or did either of you at any point take a career break, and when you say big ticket items what sort of things do you mean? Have you done any work towards the rental/airbnb in the past?

@BeeHive909 op won’t necessarily get more at all ! That’s simply not legally correct.

she might but may well not. If there’s enough assets to provide for her needs and she’s the higher earner she could see split slightly in ex favour. You cannot simply state she’ll get more.

I work full time, he used to but gave it up. He works in a temping role so some months are better than others. He has a separate pension and also has the money from the rental as his regular income. I went on maternity leave with DC but have never had a career break.

Also although I earn more than him I’m not a high earner and it’s his choice to not work!

I have no idea what is likely but you need to get what is fair and I would advise having your own lawyer. It is not reasonable for your H to be pressing you when you have not had proper advice.
Definitely get down on paper all you have been contributing - holidays, furniture, renovations, school fees ,kids clubs etc especially as you earn more and his need to earn is offset by the property he can let out. Him taking them off the table is a bit like you insisting on not counting all your earnings.
Please get your own legal advice.

The primary custody issue probably won’t be a good reason to ask for 70:30 split. If you are coparenting you will both need homes of more or less the same size. Your income disparity is more relevant. Which may be less relevant than the overall size of the asset pool.

A lot depends on how he holds those inheritance assets and how he derives income from it and what difference there is in pensions. A good lawyer could construct some argument for them being treated separately if your needs are otherwise met. He and his parents could have protections in place around this money - this might not be something you are aware of.

However he would be making a huge and stupid mistake to go to court over this. He is the one with assets to lose and you are the one who will gain in court. Where law and facts will determine the outcome. By the sounds of it these aren’t on his side.

Alternatively a disputed divorce will mean lots of fees to solicitors, accountants and barristers. This may or may not be worth it in terms of money and mental health.

You are allowed to decide to do what you want with assets, as long as you do it without coercion and with expert knowledge. It was your marriage and it is your divorce. The law only needs to intervene if you want and need it to.

I think you have a strong leverage to put an offer to him that gives you what you want and leaves him with something. You need to be explicit that you are being gratuitous here and that the alternative puts his inheritance at risk.