I split up from my ex partner 5 years ago because he was an emotionally abusive man with a drinking problem. He has always been very involved in our son's upbringing and has always been very kind with him so we agreed a 50/50 co-parenting schedule. On balance I thought this would be the last traumatic option for our son as they are super close.
Since then I have been worried about his drinking on and off. Now, I suspect my ex's drinking has got worse because he has begun to smell of alcohol more frequently including when he picks up our son or drops him off (usually in a car) I also suspect he is driving our son under the influence. Our son is 10.
I have tried to talk to him about his drinking before but he denies it and becomes defensive/aggressive.
I am fearful that this is a safeguarding issue and I don't know what to do. I don't have evidence, only suspicions. I've kept a log of incidents but they are few and far between as I am not around him, and recently they just record how he smells.
I've had legal advice before and they said it was a grey area as I need evidence to take things further and I got the impression that I didn't have a leg to stand on. My ex would never voluntarily change the informal arrangements we have and I know which way it will go if I try to talk to him about it.
What are my options and can anyone advise on strategies please. They are away at the moment for half term driving around everywhere and the week after next I go away on business and I'm worried.
I went to my first Al-Anon meeting last week. I think the support will be helpful but at this point I need practical advice on steps I can take.