Holiday with ExDP and shared child?

[poseynarkerhush]

Not sure if this is the correct place to post but I wondered if anyone else has considered or actually gone on holiday with their exDP and shared child(ren)? If so, how did it go?

The cost of holidays is crazy for one parent and one child, however it’s not that much more for two adults and one child. I’m concerned about the optics - people getting the wrong idea (ex and others) but the practicalities of going together make it a sensible option in some ways too.

What do you think?

I think you would be out of your mind. He’s an ex for a reason.

Why is he your ex?
If you happy to go on holiday why did you separate?

I think it hugely depends on the relationship and how long ago you split and I'd either of you had another partner.

My parents divorced when I was five, dad had us every weekend and we all had dinner together every Sunday as a family, all still spent Christmas together , and we couldn't really afford holidays abroad but we'd go on Butlins type holidays with both parents (separate rooms I'd share with mum and dB with dad), however my parents got back together when I was about 18 so it's not the best example.

Good grief no way. Unless it's a cruise and you plan on shoving him overboard...

It depends on how amicable you both are. I'm assuming you have a good coparent relationship to even consider it.

Point one... do you think this would confuse your child?

Next point... If you establish this as a pattern and one of you meets a new person, it could be an issue to them and your child may see that person as a reason these holidays had to stop.

Divorce and separation are expensive, so you will find this is something you have to budget for differently.

Yes have done with ExH a few times since we separated and another trip planned later this year. It's not ideal but it's for convenience and enables DC to go to more far flung places. Neither of us want to travel alone abroad with DC just yet and I have no other friends or family that are willing to go away together as all have their own families and close circles. I have misgivings about it but don't overthink it too much. We do co-parent well anyway so makes things easier.

If you and your ex want to do this for DC, I don't see why not.

What is the reason for going with the ex? Can you clarify?

Do you mean you wouldn’t want to go on holiday just you and DC? Why?

Is there nobody else you could go on holiday with? Either with DC as support, or without DC if that would work for you?

How old is DC?

I have a few times with my XH and all went fine. We’re amicable though and he comes around for dinner often.

Well you must have a good relationship to be considering this so why not i never would but we don’t have a good relationship so all depends on the situation

If you have a good relationship and co-patent well then I don’t see why not.

There might be a bit of falling out and ‘why did I think this a good idea…?’ going on but if you can be prepared for that and know how to deal with it (take a break from each other, don’t throw blame around etc) it can work.

Completely depends on

reason for split
post split relationships
your child’s age and ability to understand
any new relationships

personally it’s not something I’d want to do and we were / are still v amicable and parent well

Yes, I have for the last 2 years (we separated 2 years ago) and will probably do this again in the future.
It is to a holiday resort we have been to every year since our DS was a toddler, he is now 9 and it's his favourite place in the world. It isn't our main holiday but a short break.
We do have a good co parenting relationship, had a fairly amicable break up and get along well as friends.
We stay in a 2 bedroom apartment, I have the master room and my ex DP shares the twin room with our DS. It is a fairly full on trip but we both have activities we usually do with our DS, then we spend mealtimes and evenings together. We go half board so no arguments about cooking or cleaning up.
Our DS loves it because he enjoys being there and sharing it with both his parents. We agreed when we separated we would occasionally do things together. We do also do separate holidays with him.

Yes we went many times over the years with our DC, all went ok.

Do you not think it would be hugely confusing for the child? Very bad idea.