Reached agreement, ex now not responding

[ikeepforgetting]

Will try to keep it short! But separated 2 years ago, I am in family home with two teens going through exams. Kids with me all the time, about an hour a fortnight with him. Agreed that I would stay until youngest 18 (2028) and share mortgage payment, I am responsible for everything else. He pays CMS amount monthly.

We came to agreement before Xmas about financial after house sold. Clean break. He started to get angry after agreement reached, about me instructing a solicitor to draft the Consent Order, about how he would have an impoverished old age (he won't, it's equal).

So draft order sent a month ago, solicitor chased last week with deadline f today. He just needs to provide up to date figures on pension for the D81 and then agree the draft that WE AGREED. Guess what, nothing. No emails from him since 17 December.

I have emailed him in a very neutral tone that the only other option is a court application. The hard part is done, this is a paper exercise unless he doesn't comply.

Has anyone had success with a situation like this? Or an idea how much this is going to cost me before I ask solicitor that questions? It is bizarre behaviour, he is clearly trying to stay in control of things and this is his way of continuing to exert control. I am so sick of him and need this done!

No experience with taking it to court to force the non response issue.
My ex and I amicably agreed the terms of our divorce. I got a solicitor to draw it all up and he didn't want to bother (pay out) for a solicitor for himself but got worried I was going to stitch him up! I went to great pains to show him that my solicitor was just confirming what we agreed.
We did end up going to a family court (DC involved) lasted 5/10 mins, just to confirm that we were both in agreement. It was an odd request on behalf of the family court and but it didn't cost us anything.
Sounds like the guy is an idiot and burying his head in the sand. Get back in touch with your solicitor and ask about the next steps and the costs, it doesn't cost to ask. Good luck.

In your neutral emails to him, you might want to remind him that if it does go via the Court route, you both will need to provide one years statements of all bank accounts get the family home valued and get official CETV values of all pensions ... all of which can probably be avoided if he just provides the basic information being asked for .. and that you are happy with what was agreed previously.

Twenty one years ago my exh initially agreed a 50/50 split and shared pension. His pension was bigger than mine. I thought it was all going ahead well. After about 8 months I went on a date and he went ballistic. From that point on he refused to provide any information my solicitor asked for. I just wanted out of the marriage and a clean break so even though I'd still have 2 DC of 16 and 7 living with me and an 18 year old at uni I was prepared to go 50/50 and buy him out of the house by taking on a remortgage for his half of equity in my name alone and pay him most of our joint savings. He refused to answer any solicitors letters. Eventually my solicitor said we'd go to court to push it through. He pissed judge off by not attending court. Judge rescheduled and he refused to attend again. Judge lost his patience and told his solicitor he'd make a judgement in absentis. I got 63 percent of equity, half of what judge thought would be joint pension given he had repeatedly refused to give updated pension statement but I had a copy of his statement from 2 years before. We also got 50/50 on our business. He didn't speak to me for at least 10 years. We sat apart at dad's graduation.

Thanks for the helpful replies. I think I will ask the solicitor to outline the stages and costs and I can send that to him to try to wake him up. Resubmitting all the financial info might do the trick, I know he doesn't want me to see his dating expenses! What a plonker...

It sounds like he’s got cold feet now that he actually has to put the pension figures down on the D81, which often happens when people realise the agreement is becoming legally binding.

If he continues not to engage a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) might become necessary. It’s a short meeting with a mediator where they explain how mediation works and assess whether it’s suitable. You don’t have to attend with him.

The court generally expects you to have done a MIAM before you can apply for a financial order through court, unless you fall under one of the exemptions.

If he still won’t provide the figures or engage after that, then a court application is the route to finalise what was already agreed.

Thanks for replying @YourMcKenzieFriend . He responded eventually to say he didnt recognise the agreement, I sent him HIS WORDS proposing the agreement and then he said oh yeah. Then disappeared again. SO it is all just delay tactics I know. I just need something to put rocket under him and get it over with