Separation success stories please

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I’m in pieces trying to accept my relationship is over
we have two girls 4&3. Husband had a horrible childhood but when we met seemed to very much have his shit together. Always had a bit of a temper but recently I’m seeing it more and more.
He’s career focused in a high pressure job with lots of travel. I’m very much the default (also working) parent and it’s caused so much resentment.
in arguments he’s said some nasty things, told me to F off, called me a C, bitch, shut the F up etc etc and refuses any therapy or accountability, everything is always my fault. I am desperate to be a happy family but I know the reality is he won’t change and I can’t bring up my girls around the toxicity. Keep asking myself ‘is it that bad?’

I need some positive stories of relationships like this either getting better (!) or light at the end of this very dark tunnel. Thanks!

Anyone…!

Leave. It will be difficult to start with but it will get better. My ex husband also had a difficult childhood. He has MH issues and is an alcoholic. It took me a long time to realise it wasn’t my purpose on earth to save him. I am now married to a wonderful man. I look back at what I used to find acceptable and cannot believe it. It’s not normal to be sworn at, shouted at and called names. I hope you find the strength to leave.

@Stayingpositive2025Thanks for replying … I’m fully aware that his behaviour is unacceptable I just can’t get him respect my boundaries. Every time I try to talk, he argue. He refuses therapy, thinks it’s all me. No issues with alcohol or anything like that, just daily disrespect! Feel I need to give it my all for my girls but I’m not sure how long I can give it! Glad you found happiness x

The main reason I left was because I didn’t want my daughter to grow up thinking it was normal to be treated like that. My boundaries had been pushed so far from what was acceptable. I had lost perspective of what a normal relationship should look like. I didn’t want her thinking it was ok.

I'm at ground zero op, two young DC (SEN family) it's better than being in a marriage with a man who hated me, but it's hard

I have no family, and due to cultural/religious reasons I lost everyone in my network when I left the marriage, so hopefully you aren't totally alone like I am. If you have a parent or a sibling or good friends you'll be in a much better position to be able to get through it, it will be hard at times but worth it x

Yes this is my thinking exactly. Can I ask, was there an exact point that you knew you had to go?

ATM he doesn’t have even like you. I think that you and your kids will feel a lot better without the negative vibes and dread lurking in the air.

He threatened to kill me. I was able to go to sleep that night. When I woke up in the morning, I realised that I had become so desensitised to the abuse. I didn’t want my daughter ever witnessing anything and she would have if I’d stayed. He wasn’t going to change or plateau. He was only ever going to get worse.

If you're still undecided op (and no shame in that stage if that's where you are) use this time to plan and get your ducks in a row, so that if/when you need to, you are in a good position or a better position at least

Anything will be better than what you’ve said if you read it back op x I regularly say people saying ltb must have good jobs or money but it doesn’t matter if you’re being treated like shit, you’re better with your peace than anything else

Thank you, yes it’s easier said than done although I have a great support network. I’m only worried about making the wrong decision or feeling like we’ll never know if we could have made it work but he’s so unwilling to try I feel like he’ll leave me with no choice. I’ve always made excuses for his bad language but he clearly has no respect for me