Will court always split assets 50:50? Evidence that helped others?

[stowbeau]

Hi all,

I’m heading towards court as my ex won’t engage with mediation or respond to solicitor letters, and I’m feeling really anxious about what the outcome might be.
I’m the primary (pretty much sole) carer for our child, who has additional needs and periods of school refusal. This has had a big impact on my ability to work. I’m self-employed (limited company) with no sick pay, holiday pay or pension, and over the last year I’ve had to draw down on old savings rather than earn properly. On paper it looks like I earned “ok”, but in reality my earning capacity is very limited and those reserves are now largely gone.

My ex works full time, continues to pay into his pension, and provides very little childcare support. He also has significant personal debts and a long-standing spending issue. I’m extremely worried that if assets are simply split 50:50 I won’t be able to keep a roof over our child’s head, as I can’t afford the mortgage alone on that basis. (Details too long winded, but I bought my house and want to stay in and wouldn't get a mortgage if I sold based on current income).

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through court:

• Was it a straight 50:50 split, or did the court take childcare / earning capacity into account?
• What evidence actually strengthened your case?
• Was sole care / additional needs of a child properly recognised?
• Anything you wish you’d known or prepared earlier?

I’m not looking to be unfair, but just so worried of losing stability for my child and pretty damn exhausted.

Thanks in advance.

No, not all cases will be a straight 50:50 split.

there is guidance on what other factors should influence the split but having a disabled child is a factor.

you’ll need to evidence the additional needs.

Yes the need to house my disabled child into adulthood was taken into account. It was 70:30 split. Which allowed me to stay in the house as judge felt moving too disruptive.

i was just very honest and transparent and ex was shifty/ caught out lying. You have a good story to tell so don’t need to embellish.

Ex didn’t recognise my extra contribution to dc at all despite impact on my earnings. I think this made him look petty and ridiculous.

i had made significant financial contributions to house.

There was evidence about child’s needs and my carer needs eg ehc plan, social care / medical reports. CMS records backed up the childcare split was massively in my favour.
I had a young female judge which I’m sure also helped.

The judge accepted the impact of caring on my life was much more substantial. That said I have a huge mortgage (to buy out ex) and will be working until 70 to get a sufficient pension (ex didn’t have one to share, I did) so I certainly don’t feel i ‘won’ but that’s largely my fault for not leaving a useless man who dragged me down financially much earlier.

I have come across cases where parent doing care disabled child got more than 70% but financially I’m in well paid work and had more assets so that was probably best I was going to get.

the judge didn’t accept we needed equal size homes - I have to work from home around dc while ex never has them in working hours so accepted I needed more space + have carers in house sometimes. I was also geographically limited by distance to school.

My ex was so angry I went for more 50% he made it very nasty and personal and this totally distracted him from the elements in the case the judge has to decide which are purely financial. Just keep focussed on the factors the judge will look at. Anyone who is making huge sacrifices for a disabled child - and the other parent isn’t - is going to get a sympathetic hearing.

A lot depends on the marital finances. People with a lot of wealth will have different outcomes from people with little or no wealth to support children etc. Assuming you have reasonable or average marital assets they will be split to make you both equal. As you are both parents to a child you will both need a home. That’s going to be a 2 bed property.

Assets will be split in such a way to make that possible based on your incomes and expenses post divorce. You will both need to demonstrate your maximum income and minimum expenses.

In terms of your post, if your child’s additional needs impact on your earning capacity you will need to justify this to the satisfaction of the court. Retaining the marital home will be challenging if it results in you being overhoused compared to him. It would be different if it was specially adapted.

Some people decide to sacrifice pension share to enable them to keep the marital home.

Check out Wikivorce and Divorce for Dummies. Knowledge is power.

My divorce cost me £42 000 and I came out with 50% which amounted to £150 000. My ex husband fought tooth and nail to gain 70% but I finally got my 50%. I paid half of everything therefore deserved 50%! We have the children 50/50 and he earned more than me.

I stayed in a house that meant I was overhoused and it’s not adapted - but I could raise enough funds so ex could buy 2 bed with his mortgage capacity. 50:50 would have given me zero for the years of caring ahead of me. Future contribution is a relevant factor when a child won’t ever be independent. It would be unfair for one parent to swan off to a life of good earnings and pension when the other through no fault of their own is much more restricted. Even when there’s a sahp 60:40 is common so why would it be 50:50 for a child who needs lifelong care and only one parent is offering to do that?

Thank you so much to everyone who replied, this has been incredibly helpful and reassuring.

It’s really useful to hear that courts do take the impact of caring for a child with additional needs into account, particularly where it affects earning capacity and future prospects, and that outcomes aren’t automatically 50:50.

From what people have said, it sounds like the key is evidencing patterns rather than isolated incidents, e.g. additional needs, care imbalance, impact on work, and who carries responsibility day to day.

If anyone is willing to share more detail, I’d really appreciate advice on:

• What evidence judges actually found most persuasive (e.g. WhatsApp extracts, school letters, CMS records)?
• How people presented things like non-responses, evasion or refusal to help, especially where behaviour is subtle rather than overt?
• Whether you submitted selected extracts / summaries rather than raw messages?

Thanks again!

Mine didn’t go to court but the evidence I gave to support a 70/30 split in my favour even though I’m by far the higher earner was copies of informal parenting agreements that the children would be living with me full time. It was obvious from my salary vs his who was paying childcare - twins in full time nursery so demonstrated using print out of online calculators his mortgage capacity was actually more than mine. I also printed off loads of jobs adverts demonstrating he could get a better paid job but wasn’t interested in doing so
I have 3 kids but said I was “compromising” by having a 3 bed house rather than 4 - retained 100-% of my pensions as argued on the basis of me doing 100% custody that it would be me supporting them as young adults
lots of subtle things really that couldn’t be classed as being deliberately disparaging of him