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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Can we think of positives of 50/50

30 replies

notfrommontana · 30/01/2026 22:03

Name changed for this but I have been here a while and I am doing 50/50 with my horrible ex and I wish I wasn’t. I am sure there are other people in the same position. I would love to try to think of some positives to make me feel better, as well as ways to make it easier for our children.
I read a post on here ages ago when I was about to start this new life where a woman was saying she used the time when she didn’t have her children to work really hard at her job, varying her hours so she was working long hours on those days and shorter when she had the children, so she could be more present for her children and really spend time with them but also she managed to get promoted and a pay rise and they could do things she hadn’t been able to do before like go on great holidays. It helped me a lot to read it even if I am struggling to put it in practice.
if anyone has any positives I would love to hear them. And also anything that can make it easier for children.
if you think 50/50 is awful or that I should have fought harder to get more time with my child please don’t reply here. I am not able to change things and have had very good advice and I am looking for ways to work from where I am. And hope this thread might be useful to others.
i do have one thing that is positive for me but it’s so small I almost feel stupid saying it. But anyway; my child is a very picky eater. I used to get so bored making meals we’d all eat or making two meals each time. Now I eat with him when he’s here and when he isn’t I eat what I like - my ex was picky too so it does feel quite liberating to be able to eat things like anchovies.

OP posts:
IsThisLifeNow · 01/02/2026 21:37

Jackoutthebox · 30/01/2026 23:28

Undisturbed sleep and a lie in.

This in buckets!! I am not yet moved out, but can't wait till I have my own place. I love my kids, but also love sleeping and since I know I'll only have them 50% of the time I'm trying to focus on the positives, like more sleep, and more time to cook proper meals!

IsThisLifeNow · 01/02/2026 21:47

notfrommontana · 31/01/2026 08:00

Does anyone have any strategies for not going to pieces when it’s your ex’s weekend with the children? Just miss mine so much & get so worried.

I am planning on keeping myself busy. I'm moving into my own place in about 9 weeks time so am planning on doing the unpacking, organising and then starting on the DIY and redecorating.

Do you enjoy the cinema? I've got an unlimited card from cineworld and am really enjoying it. Not yet moved out, but am spending more and more time away from the house in the evening once the kids are in bed. It's £13 a month for me, less than 2 tickets and I've been 8 times in January!

notfrommontana · 01/02/2026 23:53

IsThisLifeNow · 01/02/2026 21:47

I am planning on keeping myself busy. I'm moving into my own place in about 9 weeks time so am planning on doing the unpacking, organising and then starting on the DIY and redecorating.

Do you enjoy the cinema? I've got an unlimited card from cineworld and am really enjoying it. Not yet moved out, but am spending more and more time away from the house in the evening once the kids are in bed. It's £13 a month for me, less than 2 tickets and I've been 8 times in January!

I do try to see friends etc but I find it very very hard not knowing if my child is OK, & having no contact. As PP said weekends are the hardest.

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 02/02/2026 00:55

My friend loves it she has three nights off - one to exercise in swim club, one to go on a date and one to see friends or catch up on tv.
there are lots of positives but mainly use the time
to pour back into yourself and your health your kids will benefit from you being super happy

FancyCatSlave · 02/02/2026 01:07

I think I must be dreadful as just about to start proper 50/50 and I’m looking forward to it mostly.

We already did a sort of 50/50 anyway when married though-on my 3 office days I didn’t really see DD due to hours and commute and ex did everything. We also split holidays 50/50. So it is only weekends that are going to be strange. I am sure I will have wobbles but ex is actually a very good and competent parent so I have no worries and 50/50 was what we both wanted. I can’t maintain my career otherwise to be honest.

I have a whole heap of plans though - I’m going to keep my time with DD almost chore free so I can make it really good quality time. When she is with ex I will exercise, work late and do my hobbies and anything house related so she will the best of me on our days.

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