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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Friend lying about finances...possibly.

13 replies

Reallyruffled · 25/01/2026 20:03

DH and i met at uni and are still close to a guy who we flat-shared with while studying...20 years ago.

Lets call him Fred. Fred was married for 15 years, no children and instigated a no fault divorce with his wife 2 years ago which is now final. While divorce proceedings were ongoing Fred said he felt uncomfortable in the family home as his wife was controlling and agressive and so DH and I occasionally had him stay with us as did other friends. No judgement or overload of sympathy as i know his wife may well have a different take on things. We didnt charge him for sleeping on our sofa although during a couple of longer stays he did chip in with a donation to food shopping.

During his divorce we all went as a group with other friends to one festival and also a holiday. I arranged and paid for both then my friends paid their respective shares to me by bank transfer.

I recently had cause to look at an old bank statement online and noticed that next to both payments Fred had given a reference..he'd put 'rent'. I was firstly worried we'd get in trouble for not declaring rental income wed never charged...so i tracked down the receipts for both trips, emails etc and they clearly indicate he was repaying his share...this set my mind at rest until i slowly realised that during his divorce he may have wanted to create a paper trail to show his outgoings / commitments were greater than they were.

Am i being paranoid and if not, what should i do? Their house was split 50/50 and finances were not conplicated..as far as i understand it hes not ripped his wife off in any way.. and as mentioned, no children.

OP posts:
WhoFedTheFish · 25/01/2026 20:05

Does it actually matter?

MissMoneyFairy · 25/01/2026 20:08

How is this any if your business

TimeForATerf · 25/01/2026 20:12

has he transferred you money before this, for the food you mentioned? If I pay bank transfer to a payee set up in my online banking, it defaults to the same reference as the last time I paid into it unless I over type it. So, all my payments from my current account to savings account say “Christmas” on them. I CBA over typing it as it doesn’t matter.

i think you are massively overthinking a non issue.

ItsameLuigi · 25/01/2026 20:39

TimeForATerf · 25/01/2026 20:12

has he transferred you money before this, for the food you mentioned? If I pay bank transfer to a payee set up in my online banking, it defaults to the same reference as the last time I paid into it unless I over type it. So, all my payments from my current account to savings account say “Christmas” on them. I CBA over typing it as it doesn’t matter.

i think you are massively overthinking a non issue.

Mine to my boyfriend always say "make up" because I cba to change it. He picked me up a mascara and foundation one time about a year ago 😂

dukenpixie · 25/01/2026 20:41

Did Fred pay you for the trip? Yes? Then who the heck cares?!

CypressGrove · 25/01/2026 20:41

I wouldn't overthink this - it's most likely his most common transfer which autofills and he didn't bother updating it.

Reallyruffled · 25/01/2026 20:41

MissMoneyFairy · 25/01/2026 20:08

How is this any if your business

Because if hes used my bank account to give a false impression about having rental expenses during his divorce when he didnt and this impacted the settlement then its fraud, surely.

DH and i never charged him rent.. he only paid a third at the supermarket maybe twice when we did a big shop during a month long stay....he did transfer his contribution, onky 60 pounds or so and didnt add a payment ref.

OP posts:
Reallyruffled · 25/01/2026 20:42

He wasnt paying 'rent' anywhere.

OP posts:
BeardOToots · 25/01/2026 20:43

Just forget it.
How long ago was this anyway?

millymollymoomoo · 25/01/2026 20:53

It would have made zero impact to any settlement. You are over thinking and over involved

Reallyruffled · 25/01/2026 20:55

millymollymoomoo · 25/01/2026 20:53

It would have made zero impact to any settlement. You are over thinking and over involved

Thats what i was worried about.. if it wouldnt have impacted any settlement, then thats fine.

OP posts:
RoastBanana · 25/01/2026 20:57

No for heavens sake it would be absolute madness to try and dig around in what sounds like a fairly amicable divorce settlement, and just cause pain. This really is something to put aside and forget.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 25/01/2026 21:11

You won't get into any trouble if it is discovered. He lied, not you.

He could say that he transferred cash into dozens of different accounts.

I think its different if you make a formal claim saying that he did. You are unaware and will be looked upon as having nothing to do with this.

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