CMS are a joke | Mumsnet

Steffani87 · 2026-01-21T22:25:46+00:00

I just need to rant I'm angry! So my ex husband has now got away with paying less per week for our three children because he is financially supporting his new partners child. That I don't have a problem with but I can't get CMS to see for the last year he has not been having the children two nights a week but one night every two weeks. I just don't get how it's fair.

GoldenRiceCakes · 21/01/2026 22:27

Child maintenance isnt suppose to be fair, could be worse, I get £7 a week for 4 kids and he doesn’t see them, past caring 🤷‍♀️

lunar1 · 21/01/2026 22:30

I have no idea why random kids the decide to live with have ant baring on his contribution to the children he fathered

NongKhai · 21/01/2026 22:33

Yes, I had this. Left me and our 2 children for a woman he had just met (2 weeks) and she had a 5 yr old. He got to give me £60 less because of this child. I was fuming. He could have chosen to pay me the full rate but of course he didn't. I totally agree - it shouldn't be taken into account at all.

Original poster

Steffani87 · 21/01/2026 23:03

The bit that annoys me is they take this other child into account but not that he doesn't have them as much as he says he does and I have to have a letter from a solicitor to prove it which he doesn't want to agree to what my solicitor writes because he knows that he will have to pay more.
But the children don't see him that much so why can't they just take my evidence which is a letter from my ex saying what he wants why does it have to come from my solicitor? It just infuriates me that he can just say he has this kid to look after and I have to bend over backwards to prove something that has never happened!

@NongKhai my ex met his fiance 2 weeks after we separated and got engaged to her a month later!

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NongKhai · 21/01/2026 23:30

@Steffani87that's shit, truly. I was completely blindsided. It lasted 2 years and then they broke up. He didn't inform the cms that he'd moved address and was no longer responsible for the random child. I had to do it myself after another 2 years passed and it took them 3 months to investigate that. Then he went batshit at me after insisting he was paying me the correct amount. Luckily they increased it and told him to pay me 2 yrs worth of arrears. CMS aren't fit for purpose. I don't agree that an affair partner's children should take money away from their actual children. Especially as there's often an actual dad paying for them as well.

Original poster

Steffani87 · 22/01/2026 06:12

NongKhai · 21/01/2026 23:30

@Steffani87that's shit, truly. I was completely blindsided. It lasted 2 years and then they broke up. He didn't inform the cms that he'd moved address and was no longer responsible for the random child. I had to do it myself after another 2 years passed and it took them 3 months to investigate that. Then he went batshit at me after insisting he was paying me the correct amount. Luckily they increased it and told him to pay me 2 yrs worth of arrears. CMS aren't fit for purpose. I don't agree that an affair partner's children should take money away from their actual children. Especially as there's often an actual dad paying for them as well.

Do you know that bit dawned on me last night let's take from my children to give to hers. The kids gets everything he wants and is 17 but because he is in education my ex still gets away with paying less.

OP posts:

Original poster

Steffani87 · 22/01/2026 06:19

Also dual income family gets CMS and less paying CMS, she has health issues so is on benefits they get DLA for the child as well while I am scraping by on a single income a house I soon won't be able to afford due to the mortgage deal coming to and end and him not agreeing to do anything about it. I feel really low at the moment but am trying to see the positives but it's hard to see the wood through the trees right now.

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babyproblems · 22/01/2026 06:43

I say this on every thread like this- the CMS is an absolute scandal and I think one day we’ll look back at it now and find it SHOCKING.

I will not believe any political party really, truly cares about women, until they overhaul the CMS. It is by far the most scandalous organisation in the UK and continues operating like it’s 1950. It leaves women and children with nothing. I do not understand why there’s not been a huge exposé and complete overhaul.

To all those saying ‘could be worse, I only get 50p!’ - it’s not a race to the bottom. You all deserve support and being grateful for £1 doesn’t help anyone.

OneMoreTimeBaby · 22/01/2026 07:24

Here’s a thought, let one of those private parking eye companies take on the responsibility of chasing down the “sperm doners” they are relentless! Whoever said about the government not really caring about women until it’s sorted is spot on, as it is women left in the shit to pick up the pieces. CM arrears should be on credit files and affect mortgage applications etc, passport renewals shouldn’t be approved until payments are up to date. The thing that keeps me going is, kids grow up, and they know. I have no relationship with my father because of how he treated my mother, he could be dead for all I know.