When did you start dating after separating?

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As the title says I’m interested to know when people started dating after separating. I separated 3 months ago after a 14 year marriage. The marriage itself wasn’t physical for a couple of years as it was lacking any emotional intimacy on both sides. In my mind it’s been dead for years and I do want to start dating soon because life’s too short etc and I feel no need to grieve etc. we have no kids and it’s completely amicable. Ex has started dating but my friends are horrified by this however I also want to start dating! What did others do? Interested to hear different perspectives!

Wanted to add we’re mid 50s so not youngsters

I waited 14 months.
it was way way too soon, but I am glad I did.

There’s no rules. I can’t imagine anything worse and have no interest but I wouldn’t care if ex was as long as not including DD in it. She’s 6 and I don’t want a step father in her life so it’s not for me.

We divorced last month but separated about 18 months ago. Might feel differently when I’m 60 and DD is 18.

Thanks both for sharing your experiences. I’m worried that I’m diving in too soon but it really doesn’t feel too soon if that makes sense. Like you say Fancy, no rules, everyone is different

I haven't. 3 years separated but I do have children and I am the primary parent. I was a shell of myself when I left him but I am getting sparks of wanting to explore but I won't be long term dating or introducing to my children. I also don't want to do online dating as I really don't have the time so I will probably be single for all eternity 🤣.

OP you do whatever you want to do - there is no rights or wrongs, if you go on a few dates and realise you are not ready, that's okay. Sometimes you just want to still feel desirable and alive and dating can give you that. Just be warned it's a cess pit out there in the online world, just be careful.

do you mean you were glad you dated when you did even though you felt it was too soon?

Separated last May after 30 years together. Moved out in October. Still no where near wanting to date. Suspect he’s got someone tho.

30 years wow. I do think there’s something wrong with me wanting to date so soon but it’s like the blinkers have come off and I’ve realised what an absolute sham of a marriage I’ve been in for so long. Mentally I feel completely fine and just relieved that’s it’s over. No anger or bitterness just happy we’re both moving on.

Just under a year and he was the biggest mistake of my life.
I really didn’t take the time to be didn’t and work on understanding exactly what I really wanted. I Aldi had no idea how vulnerable I was after a 23 year relationship and looking back, had I been in a better headspace, I wouldn’t have touched him with a 10 foot pole.

And since that 2 year relationship ended, I d been very happily single for 6 years with absolutely no interest in meeting anyone.

Ill be honest, the picking out there in your 50s are very very slim.

After 14 years of marriage but this was several years ago, my first date was one week after we separated, I never did find anyone for a new relationship but did plenty of dating.
I didn’t see the point of waiting, couldn’t wait to get back out there and find someone I fancied (I didn’t fancy ex)

Been 12 years for me and I took the decision not to because I had a young AuDHD child and it was too difficult and I no longer trust my judgement, I pick terrible men. I’ve been single since I was 44. I’ve no plans to change that.

I wouldn’t wait to date, that’s fun, but no way would I consider getting into anything serious for at least half the length of the relationship ( so 7 years, and would likely never marry again)

genuinely I would have 3 or 4 different boyfriends on the go and I would enjoy every minute

This is me really! I just can’t see the point of waiting around. Not that I’ve a void to fill but I just feel like I want to crack on and date. As my ex is doing too!

Love this! Totally agree

I’m sorry you had such a bad experience Twisted. I think the fear of what dating will be like in my 50s has put me off doing anything about my marriage which is a shame really and not fair on me or ex DH. It got to the point where I knew I’d be happier alone, he felt the same, so we were good to end it

I shagged a lot but I didn’t date or get serious until my kids were grown. But I wasn’t a nun until then.

2 years. Dipped my toe in and dipping it back out again!

My split was very amicable and we’re still friends - with my DH I mean not the twat I met afterwards.

I did go on a few dates afterwards but just didn’t find anyone online or in the wild I found appealing. There are a lot of older men out there looking for a nurse with a purse to cook clean provide sex (within minutes of meeting) and to wipe their arse as they enter their dotage.

6 years. Dipped my toe into dating last year and seem to have found someone pretty wonderful. But I am a badass independent woman and know exactly what I want and don’t. If he doesn’t match actions and words (which he has so far tbf) I’d have no issue going back to a long term singledom!

Oh, and I’m early 50’s

Fantastic! There are some good ones out there I’m sure but it’s one hell of a numbers game (I did meet my ex DH online when it was just for weirdos!)

Almost immediately, maybe because it hadn't occurred to me that anyone would be interested in someone my age who had no money, was neither pretty nor charming, and was a single parent of lots of riotous children and I was taken by surprise. I'd been ground down by my marriage and still think fondly of the unsuitable men who helped me to get my confidence back. I remarried four years after starting divorce proceedings.

6 weeks.

This is pretty much where I am at!

Without the kids obviously which does make things a lot easier right now