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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Advice on housing post separation. Defer sale or become tenant?

3 replies

LaughingInThePurpleRain · 18/01/2026 20:38

My ex and I have separated, he moved out of our jointly owned house 12 months ago, we have now started talking about what we are going to do moving forward. I suggested a deferred sale as we have two children, youngest is 8. I believe I have valid reasons for this, those mainly being that where I live is within walking distance of my youngest's school and on a bus route for my oldest's, I don't drive and rely on childcare from family nearby, the rental market is also dire with nothing suitable nearby. This suggestion didn't go down well with him. His suggestion was to buy me out and take my name off of the mortgage, but then I live here and rent from him. Financially, I will be better off with this option. The lump sum from buying me out would be very handy at this moment in time, and he has said he would agree to giving me complete freedom over the house and would not come and go as he pleases, like he does now. His reasons for this suggestion are that the rent I pay him will help him pay the mortgage and give him a bit extra to rent a place until he sells, he has agreed to a minimum 5 year tenancy and to me not paying what I would if I privately rented elsewhere. I am not able to afford to buy him out or buy on my own if we sell, so losing ownership of the house will happen for me either way. I will of course seek legal advice on this, but I wanted to know if anyone has actually done this and whether it has worked. It does feel a little unsettling despite looking beneficial on paper.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 18/01/2026 22:18

It is a terrible financial arrangement for you. Having a capital sum complicates your entitlement to UC. So you will be paying him the capital back for 5 years. Then you have no capital and no house and you will need to rent.

You really need to think about how you will achieve financial independence from him.

LaughingInThePurpleRain · 18/01/2026 23:33

LemonTT · 18/01/2026 22:18

It is a terrible financial arrangement for you. Having a capital sum complicates your entitlement to UC. So you will be paying him the capital back for 5 years. Then you have no capital and no house and you will need to rent.

You really need to think about how you will achieve financial independence from him.

Thank you for your reply. I will need to rent regardless, as I cannot afford a mortgage alone. So I either rent from him or from someone else, for a higher cost. I understand the implications of having a lump sum and being unable to claim UC with savings over £6000. I just feel very stuck.

OP posts:
LaughingInThePurpleRain · 18/01/2026 23:35

Just to add, I do work and make a good wage. It just simply isn't enough to get a mortgage alone, house prices in my area are very high at the moment.

OP posts:
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