Splitting extra costs?

[Oricolt]

Husband and I are separated. I have the children 100%. He pays a regular amount to allow me to afford to run the family home. I work full time but he earns more than double my salary and has none of the children's expenses. The amount is reasonable and was calculated so I can pay rent and bills. Obviously the extra expenses of three children are endless and his contribution doesn't touch the sides.

He has contacted me to ask me to pay 50% of a bill for a shared property overseas. It's a significant amount.

Can I reply that yes, I'll pay that, and if we're going to share big expenses going forward then can he contribute to my non-optional large expenses related to the children? I've already paid more than double what he's asking for in extra but non-optional expenses for the children this month.

I don't want to be pissy about this. I just want it to be fair.

I don’t think any of us can advise you. It may be that he agrees or it may be that he decides to sever your financial relationship by divorcing and paying a fixed amount of child support.

Our tax system means that double the salary doesn’t translate into double the tax home pay.

Based on the little information in the post neither of you can afford the two properties upkeep. Why not divorce, sell these and get homes you can afford to run with your income and child support.

You should also look into ways to increase your income, check your benefit entitlement.

Yes, you're probably right. Not the right place for advice on this. It's hard keeping a level head and making these big decisions sensibly in the context of emotional turmoil.

Depends really….how much is he paying more than what the CMS would calculate it to be? If he pays way over the minimum then he is already contributing to non optional child expenses - he is under no obligation to pay your rent and bills….. I’d be inclined just to pay this bill - is the overseas property legally joint? What is the plan to deal with it post divorce?