Mediation advice

[Blast101]

About to go into mediation with high conflict ex. What do you wish you’d knew/had done during mediation- this is only with regard to custody.

You can ask for a 5 minute break.
You can say you'll think about that small decision and revisit it at the next mediation meeting.
100% get the plan written up by the mediator, get ex to agree to that in the meeting and get it done ASAP before they change their mind.
Make sure the agreement has days and times. But also for special occasions make sure there are times. When the routine changes is where high conflict tend to find small loop holes. So for example if you are alternating who has the kids for their birthday it would say 'mum has kids on even years, from the day before their birthday from school pickup or 4pm, to the day after their birthday until school.drop off or 10am. Have a neutral location. Include hobbies as part of the discussion and an agreement on how those are paid.
Don't just plan for now, plan for the kids when they are older too.

Keep as calm as possible even if your ex goes mad. You’ll be seen as the bigger person x if it help you to keep calm, write down in advance your issues so you can read it calmly instead of rambling argument.
good luck x

Thanks both.

You might need to take charge of the mediation at some point - don’t leave it entirely to the mediator. I had to deliver an ultimatum because my ex kept using the time to be horrible to me and to suggest impractical and non-child-centred plans.