Signed the agreement - feels good

[Iloveitalianfoodyum]

Hi everyone. I have lurked on here for a while. Been separated since beginning of July 2025 and we lived together until December and then he moved out (that was a battle) We have 1 DD who is 8. We share custody 50/50.
Im in Scotland so the process is different up here. You have to separate for a whole year before you can divorce.

i am the one who wanted to separate. Ex was lazy, unreliable, rude, mean.

anyway I signed the minute of agreement today. This has to be signed by him and then the money gets transferred because I am buying him out of the family home.

I don’t know why I’m posting other than to say if any of you are in this process and are losing heart then don’t! I’ve had some very bad times and it’s a cliche but I can say I am happier than I have ever been.

My daughter struggles with the 50/50 so I do too but I know this is a finite amount of time as she can decide where she spends her time when she’s a bit older. If I would have stayed for her I’d be subjecting me and her to this unhappiness forever.

You are strong and you can get through this. You can be in control of your lives and decisions, you can be in control of your own money and your own house. I am the conflict-adverse shy type a typical people pleaser and if I can get here I know you can too.

Great encouraging post. This will help someone.

Enjoy your continued happiness for you and your child.

thank you @Jas683 ♥️

I know how this feels. Well done for getting through it. How did you get it agreed so quickly? It took me 2.5 years because of pension (he didn’t have one and mine were all over the place).

@hotpeppers we kept our own pensions. The cost of the solicitors digging into this on both sides for what were very likely very similar values just didn’t seem worth it. Are you through the other wise now of actual divorce? How are you doing?

Congratulations! I was in a similar position last year, signed minute of agreement in January, 1 year separation date in March, I filed straight away and was fully divorced in June (also Scotland)

I also bought my ex out. It’s an absolute relief to have that stability for the kids.

Just take each day at a time and before you know it, everything will be finalised and you’ll be free of him!

Congrats @IHateYourFace on your divorce in June! How did you feel when that was done and you were single again? Did your change your name back? I’m wondering about that whether to or not.

being in Scotland one thing I felt was unfair was that I had to buy out my ex seeing as how the house was in my name, the mortgage was, I put down the deposit from my own savings and I paid the mortgage and every single bill. A lesson not to get married I guess. How was your buy out @IHateYourFace was it smooth?

I also didn’t want to agree to the 50-50 sharing of the custody of my daughter since I was the primary carer but was told that in Scotland 50/50 is pretty much a given and there was no point fighting it.

Thankfully the separation agreement was all signed at the beginning of 2025. I also bought him out and, though there have been challenges, I have never once regretted anything.

Waiting until my youngest is 16 before I file for divorce. I’d be more than happy if he did it in the meantime! He didn’t want 50/50 so we agreed on every other weekend.

I’m also not sure what to do about the name thing yet.

The buy out went extremely well, my ex was desperate to get his hands on the cash so no last minute dramas. Similar to you, I was the one that paid for everything (higher earner) plus juggled all the child care so it was a bit sore having to hand over 50% of the equity. But truth be told, I would have paid double to get shot of him.

I kept my married name as it’s mine, I chose it and I feel I have more right to it than he does. I gave it to my children so if he’s got a problem, he can change his 🤣

No 50/50 here. He didn’t want to commit to regular contact with the kids as he would have to see them around work, his football season ticket and social life - the fuck nugget actually put that in writing in his solicitor letter 🤣🤣🤣. I accepted long ago that I couldn’t force him to be a decent father when we were together so unsurprisingly he remains a shit father now we are divorced. So he has them a few nights a month. He also spent his payout on a new car which meant he could only afford a 2 bed, and we have two children of the opposite sex. So my poor daughter sleeps on a couch while his favourite child, our teenage son, gets a bedroom.

it’s obviously frustrating but I am waiting patiently for the kids to see him for the piece of shit he is. Signing the divorce papers is nice and symbolic but unfortunately I’m stuck having to interact with him until youngest is 18.

In terms of being single, I was with him since I was 16 and after 24 years of that relationship, I am happily enjoying just being me. I am not interested in seeking out another relationship, I would rather gouge out my own eyes to be honest.

Absolutely no regrets other than I should have done it years ago. My life is peaceful and not filled with resentment picking up after a manchild.

Hope everything goes smoothly with your divorce.