Legal madness and crazy costs

[wizzdexter1]

We completed our FDA about two weeks ago. I Self represented but husband is using a solicitor case is not particularly complicated but husband‘s legal costs for the two months proceeding the FDA and including the FDA hearing was £16,000 !!! His solicitor wanted to do a Pension Report, even though our pensions are only about 50 K apart Cost of that is about 3000 , Capital gains tax on a rental we have accountants calculation another £3000 the tax calculation I can do for free on the HMRC calculator however the courts will not accept this even though the input figures will be the same as the ones that would be given to an accountant. They are also on about getting a rics valuation done on the Rental So that will be another £2000 so we are talking about £8000 worth of expert reports that they want me to pay half of - the judge has ordered this. The whole system seems mad. We are not particularly wealthy and they are just spending our money with contempt, my husband is going to run out of money soon and his solicitors know that. I have suggested to my husband a couple of times that we just sit down and talk things through ourselves but he has said he just wants to go through solicitors but keep it amicable which is a joke as soon as the solicitors get involved it ain’t amicable anymore. Anyway, my question is I’m thinking of having another go at getting my husband to see some sense he is looking at at least another 20 K to get to the FDR and because of all these reports we are looking at at least another 6 to 9 months before we get to the FDR then, if we agree, the property sale could take another six months so we are now looking at Autumn 2027 So I am proposing to write to him try to buy him out but I don’t want to go through his solicitor as I think they will only complicate matters. I just want a bit of sanity to return. What do you guys think?

I think you’re right. I’d say to him if he insists on doing things the legal route you hold him accountable for the unnecessary costs and want him to bear 100% of the legal cost since he’s the one that has driven it down this route.

He is entitled to use a solicitor if he wants to, and in many cases, it’s by far the safest option even if it is expensive.

I don’t know exactly how it all works, but surely court and related costs should be paid for out of the assets of the marriage before what is left gets spilt between you in whatever proportion is decided?

I don’t have a problem with him using a solicitor, but when he’s solicitor is insisting on ridiculous overpriced exorbitant reports I do object to that an object to the courts of agreeing to this massive waste of money. I’m retired, and I can’t afford to be wasting money like this For me once it’s gone, it can’t be replaced

That’s an empty threat. It would be very difficult to establish that these aren’t required valuations, given a judge has ordered them. Plus it would be defeating the purpose of trying to persuade the ex to trust and cooperate with the OP. Threats don’t make people trust you.

OP: you need to maybe think about how your ex would be best persuaded to listen to your opinion on this and consider it. None of us know your personalities or negotiating style.

My own view on this is that there you are asking him to not have expert valuations on a lot of things. I think a lot of people would get skittish at this especially if it is broached in the wrong way. I think you are maybe pushing to hard and that is stiffening his resistance.

Also you post is full of I think and I want. What does he think and want?

He has a continuing duty to attempt non court dispute resolution. What you want is a decent mediator experienced in financial matters. Ask him first. If it doesn't work, repeatedly press his solicitors on what he's doing to comply with his duty to avoid court.

Are you very far apart in your propsals and expectations?

best way is to compromise and agree between you but that’s not always possible if one party is hell bent on pushing it as far as they can

This is exactly why you should both consider doing it through mediation. You can come up with an agreement between yourself but also doing with the support of an accredited person who will guide you through the required process.

Tried meditation and didn’t work she sided with him said a large asset should be ignored but the judge said it should be taken into account so I was right it was very expensive also I think the legal profession are ripping us all of and it should be investigated by the government