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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Housing vs my sanity

3 replies

thepurgebegins · 15/01/2026 11:47

I need some advice. Im getting divorced with my husband. It wont happen until I or he can save up enough for a deposit for a house so maybe another year. Im just tired of his narcissistic behaviour and the final straw was him looking at naked girls, even though it should have been when he hit me a month ago. The house we live on is on my name. He put alot of money into the house as we had to rebuild it and I put my hard work into doing all the painting decorating even labour work etc. My plan is to sell him this house at market value. We have added a bedroom so I could be getting around 60k profit all together. I would keep any profit, I pay him the deposit he put it and he keeps the house. The close people who do know what's going on are saying im running away from the situation and I will regret it.

I dont want to live in this house. I would rather he keep it. He should be living with the memories here not me. I don't want to be reminded of everything about him here. I want to be able to go find my own place, get a mortgage and start a fresh with things that only has my touch. I would leave mostly everything in this house and that way I know where and what my kids (3 and 1) are going to when he does have the kids. I know social services can check properties to see if its safe but I feel hatred towards this house now. I dont think im being stupid. I will go back to my work almost full time and it is a good wage. My sister is around to help if needed with children. Im happy to wait until he has the deposit to pay for this house and it might be better to sell the house to him whilst I am in then leave. Yes the price of houses will be higher and I shouldn't be letting him get it easy but personally there isnt a price on my sanity? I need my peace back. I've been done many times in the last 9 years but always been scared to leave. This time I know I am done as there is no anxiety and there is no respect left. He has no remorse and I'm actually excited to leave. Does anyone understand where I am coming from?

OP posts:
Lennonjingles · 15/01/2026 12:15

Please get proper legal advice as to what you will be entitled to, do you both have pensions or other investments that need to be split between you.

thepurgebegins · 15/01/2026 12:31

@Lennonjingles I may go to a solicitor closer to the time however there is nothing else that needs to be split. We have no investments or other properties. He is self employed and has no private pension. The main thing is the house and thats it. We have come to a decision around the children and how we will split the days. He is amicable when it comes to actually discussing everything. There is nothing else I would want if im honest but there isnt anything anyway.

OP posts:
JustforAlice · 16/01/2026 12:01

You are married so the house is equally both of yours so you need to stop thinking of it as yours. It isn’t your profit - it is a marital asset. Also you say he has no pension - what about you? He has a starting point of a 50/50 split as do you. How many children? How old? What will child arrangements be?

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