How to start over????

[Kayalilover]

How do women start over from a separation/divorce???

I have 3 children (10 months, 12 and 10 yrs).

I have no savings as I was only entitled to UC whilst on maternity leave.

I only earn £46 but desperately looking for a new role so could potentially earn £63k (hopefully very soon!).

We own a home but the house is unbearable with their dad so I want to leave ASAP (no domestic violence but a lot of unpleasantness).

No help via council either (I think?) as I own my own home.

I can get a guarantor (£80k salary) but not sure this is enough for landlords. My credit rating is not good due to my maternity leave.

Who else has gone through this? How did you navigate everything?

You need to do some financial planning based on what you know will or could happen. Things to take into account.

1. Salaries can be poor indicators of income these days because of tax and benefit thresholds. Play around with calculators to see what income you will be taking home and what Benefits you will be entitled to at both salaries. Tax thresholds can erode the big salary bump if you simultaneously lose entitlement to benefits.
2. Your ex is a potential resource in terms of child support and co parenting. If they are willing to take on more parenting responsibilities consider if this works for you and the children. Don’t go scorched earth before you find out if he will be a resource.
3. The higher salary on part time hours might maximise or optimise your income and entitlement to benefits whilst also progressing your career.
4. Claiming benefits whilst taking on responsibility for the expense of the current home could mean he can afford to move out.
5. nesting is a short term option to allow you to live apart and spend time with the children.

it is worth reiterating that unnecessary acrimony between you and your ex will make life more difficult for you and your children. This might mean swallowing down the urge the retaliate or express your opinion of him.