How do you cope when you want to work things through

[Betty2012]

I was left after husbands affair. I don't want a divorce but he has gone and I am being treated like we never existed. He is chasing after younger women now. I don't want a divorce I don't know what to do.

Sorry this has happened. The husband you have in your head, the loyal man you fell in love with who loved you, that's not real any more he doesn't exist. Surround yourself with strong, kind women who want the best for you and find your anger. He's screwed you over and he is not worth your love, even if you got back together you'd be unlikely to feel safe and secure in your relationship again with him. 2026 is a new year and you need to focus your precious energy back onto you, you're going to need to be putting that effort into yourself to move forward into a positive future where you will be happy and free of your cheating ex.

Thank you for your reply. That's lovely and so true. I just don't know how to get my head around it all if I'm honest how someone could lie so convincingly for all that time. And now be chasing after younger women who look the total opposite to me.

Its a wild ride, and not easy to accept they can apparently be 2 very different people. But if you got back together it would never be the same and you couldn't ever trust him again.

Im only 5 months ahead of you, with 2 young kids in the mix, and I ask myself what if we got back together and he cheated again in 5/10 years? I would be so angry and disappointed I didnt leave first time round and would have wasted so many years with a version of him that wasn't authentic.

None of it is easy, but it's also not forever.