My husband and I have not been getting on for a while. We have lovely kids ranging from 7-12.
I recently found done texts in his phone to a woman that crossed the line. Texting each day and sending suggestive pics (her not him). Meeting up for secret lunch to “chat” and lots of heart emojis. Texting each other “how was your night?” She ended up saying she felt ashamed she was divorced and he said “it doesn’t change how I see you” Etc. he talks to her more than me.
this is not the first time he’s done this. He’s done secret friendships with women multiple times over year. Hiding details as he knows he crosses a line.
Our relationship also went really sour when he accumulated some £20k of debt behind my back. We had to get a loan to fix it and add some to the mortgage.
he says I’m very critical and controlling. I guess I find it so hard when he constantly letting our family down. I feel especially financially vulnerable so I’m careful not to get let down again.
there is little affection too.
he has very specific interests that haven’t helped the debt side of things. He’s annoyed we don’t share this hobby. Hes made it his entire personality. He’s so intense about it I’ve often wondered if he might be autistic and this is a special interest. He seems to gravitate towards women that share the interest. He’s keen to meet up with them to discuss it etc.
this latest hidden relationship (he’s admitted he crossed a line and he was enjoying the attention about his hobby)
Ive said I’m done but I feel sick at thought of being without kids. I know this will really upset them.
the money side scares me so much too. How will we afford it?
I have a good job but it’s not promised is it?!
and he’s had to get a second job as his business was failing.
i don’t even know where to start? Am I making the right choice here? I just want to fast forward 5 years to the nice part