Mediation advice and experiences?

[Marielou101]

Family/child focused mediation- did it work for any of you, what was your experiences and how did you raise wanting to go down this route?

I am really considering mediation as I am currently pregnant and wanting schedules sorted pre baby being born. The reason for this is I co parented with my son (previous relationship) when our son came along there was a lot of arguing, solicitors etc from both side we made a lot of mistakes that we now regret. I want to avoid that experience and have no tension.

my current ex- I asked him to create a schedule he would want and it’s 8 weeks later I’m still waiting, I have moved communication to a co parenting app which he fought as he believes WhatsApp is best because he needs direct contact with me. I just want to avoid constant back and forth and I feel mediation may be the move for multiple reasons. I do think my ex is going to say no to mediation as he’s complained about a co parenting app costing £6 per month, however I’m financially covering all babies costs during pregnancy and when they are born.

he has mentioned multiple times how he has a law degree and how his friends work in the law industry/area and I just hate that he’s dangling that over my head, I feel a mediator will put a stop to this or at least advise him that language is toxic.

So I would use a new Gmail email address and set it up just for him, that’s all you need for now. Don’t need an app that’s paid for. Block
him on WhatsApp.

and you suggest a schedule of eg two visits a week for one hour for first month and then review every month, have an aim eg him
doing a full weekend by three years old, but don’t over commit to a detailed schedule now as you don’t know how baby will be and how reliable or competent he’ll be

Based on what I've been told, mediation is a waste of time unless both parties are actually willing to engage with it.

Go to court and get everything done there if you can. Him having a law degree means nothing - if he tries to represent himself and take that kind of high minded approach, the judge isn't likely to respond well to it

I agree waste of time and money unless you can broadly on finances before you start

I think I’m going to try see what schedule he proposes/what he says in the next few weeks and take it from there.

thank you for your help, I think I will avoid mediation especially if many of you say it’s a waste of money. I just wanted almost a middle party to try and get us both to compromise/agree to certain areas of co parenting