Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

My husband's true colors.

6 replies

wtfismymotto · 20/12/2025 22:43

My husband and I have been together for nearly 10 years and married for 6.
We have a 5 and a half year old DS and 3 year old DD.
When our son was born, around 2 weeks old, my husband said "i hate being a parent" I shrugged it off because of both being exhausted.
When my son was just over 2 I had my daughter. She was born late October and one night my husband had took on the night duty but I could just hear nothing was working so I came down stairs to receive "good I can't sort it, she just a greedy c**t." And in the complete darkness with no lights he put her on a chair and got up and walked off, I flipped a light on straight away and grabbed her. I got no apology for his vile language.
When she was 5 weeks old he chose to go out for a work Christmas party. He left me home whilst I was still recovering and with my new born and 2 year old. For context he hates work events and had never been to one previously.
When he got home I was broken, I didn't realise I was suffering from ppd. But he told me he wasn't that bothered about going out but still went, then when I said how hurt I was, he accused me of punishing him.
Every year his angry outbursts have got worse. He put it down to overstimulated, being a shift worker and general stress.
Last week I was accused of taking too long at his parents house whilst dropping of Christmas cards. He argued with me the whole way home to where I said ok im not part of this conversation anymore. He drove us home and chucked his keys at me to go inside, I said no youre not driving off with my kids, he kept on at me and I just screamed no in his face because I had years of rage that just burst. Regrettably this made my children cry, he got out the car and told me I lost a husband and he stormed out, no handbrake on but luckily I got it to stop by putting it in park. He told me to sort out the mes s I created.
Since then he came back and I told him how I felt and he said he wants to make things work but I have no love for him at all. I haven't for years. But im a SAHM and cant drive, no money of my own. I don't know how to start the ball rolling to leave.

OP posts:
Lolamorte · 20/12/2025 22:58

That sounds such a painful situation. I wonder, have you considered appealing to your in-laws, telling them how you are feeling? Family/ couples therapy can be dear, and sometimes the older generation can be wise and benevolent.

wtfismymotto · 20/12/2025 23:04

Lolamorte · 20/12/2025 22:58

That sounds such a painful situation. I wonder, have you considered appealing to your in-laws, telling them how you are feeling? Family/ couples therapy can be dear, and sometimes the older generation can be wise and benevolent.

My inlaws have never been interested in us or our children in regards to being loving. My MIL only talks to me to tell me about her hospital appointments and endless list of medications shes on or to moan about my SIL. I don't think they'd have any support.

OP posts:
Snapandfart24 · 20/12/2025 23:06

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's not your fault. He sounds like a selfish, immature man with no intention of changing or respecting you or your children. The comments he's made are vile.
So you have family you could stay with for Christmas? Just to take the kids and get your head together? Telling the truth to others might help you to see it, and him, for what it/he is.
Your kids deserve better. Not driving isn't a reason to stay. You have a lot of happy Christmases ahead for your family, don't let him steal any more joy. You deserve better.

TheSandgroper · 21/12/2025 08:46

You start the ball rolling by ringing Women’s Aid. They will help you. They have seen it all before. They can listen to you and answer your questions.

And do it today. After Christmas is one of the worst times for domestic violence assistance organisations so get in first.

Newyearawaits · 21/12/2025 19:02

My heart goes out to you OP
I don't have any answers
R u 100pc sure that there is no feeling left and nothing that could be revived?
He has behaved appallingly and you have every right to be upset.
If you are certain it's beyond repair, you should get legal advice re separation.
You will be entitled to claim benefits.
Have you a close friend or family member that you can share this with?
That would make you feel less isolated.
Take care OP, you deserve so much more

User452023 · 21/12/2025 21:16

Contact Womens Aid. Your partner is very abusive.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread