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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Am I being emotionally abused?

5 replies

Lottiexx3 · 20/12/2025 09:03

I have been with my partner for just over 2’years, we share one child together. I have children from a previous relationship and so does he. Everything was great at first, we spent time together, had family time it was happy. Then I fell pregnant and everything changed. I would like to say he has ASD and EUPD. His behaviour changed and mine changed along with it. He became an increasingly jealous, got upset if I didn’t reply right away, accused me of affairs. The further along in my pregnancy I got the worse he got. I had to leave work earlier than planned due to being anaemic and struggling with his behaviour. He then blamed me for this and said it was because I’m lazy. He made me carpet the stairs at 9 months pregnant because I suggested I could paint the landing while he carpeted. Things just got worse. We are now at a point where he criticise everything I do. I get daily comments and out bursts from him. I’m now at a point where I don’t know myself anymore, I’m a wreck, cry all the time, can’t eat, dont shower and I’m under the mental health team. Every time I tell him how I feel I get comments that I’m selfish, don’t care about him, unsupportive and just trying to manipulate him. I have ended the relationship multiple times, kicked him out then he convinces me we should be together, that my son needs his dad and we end up back in the same place. He blames me for my reactions to his behaviour, i admit i have very little tolerance now and i end up upset very easily. I feel like im on eggshells all the time and a prisoner in my own life. I have ended it again and hes due to leave today after another round of me being blamed for something not entirely my fault and being accused of ruining his life. He’s convincing me this is my fault, I am at fault, it’s my mental health that’s caused this. Someone please help

OP posts:
LadyGAgain · 20/12/2025 09:28

Yes you are being abused and I’m so very sorry. You are going to need to take the lead with stonewalling and then working out access agreements if he wants/is capable of looking after your child together once they arrive. He has shown you who he is.

DoingAway · 20/12/2025 09:32

Yes that’s clear abuse op I’m sorry. If you need support with it then phone Womens Aid.

AutumnFroglets · 20/12/2025 09:49

Yes you are.

Do not take him back this time. Talk to your mental health team, your GP and to Women's Aid. Do not talk to him - he is very probably the reason why your mental health is so bad and it will improve dramatically over time once he has permanently gone from your life.

You can do this OP. It's time Flowers

Lottiexx3 · 20/12/2025 15:22

Thank you. He has left. He wanted to spend some time with our son before he left after his very long lie in. So I asked him if he wanted to take him for a bit, he replied that I made my bed by ending the relationship I can enjoy being a mother and he’s not having him. So I took my son out before things kicked off. He then accused me of refusing to let him see his son and I’m using the baby as a weapon. I’m going to speak to my therapist and go though it with them and I may ring women aid because I know what’s comings next. It’s just so difficult because part of me knows this isn’t right but part of me makes excuses for him and wants to believe it’s my fault. It’s so sad.

OP posts:
AutumnFroglets · 20/12/2025 23:24

Stop making excuses for him. I'm sure he has plenty of his own he can use without adding yours to the long list.

Learn the fabulous art of greyrocking, ie only give him minimal information. That means he won't be able to twist things around or blame you. This is not the same as giving him the silent treatment. For instance you suggest a day, time and place to handover your child for visits but you don't explain why you've chosen that day, time or place or what you are planning to do while he's parenting. Keep it factual with zero chat. And no handover in your home, ever.

Definitely contact Women's Aid as they will be able to give better advice. Good luck and hopefully this will be a great start to 2026 🍾

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