Considering separating

[ChristmasScrouge]

I have been married to my husband for nearly 15 years. The last few years have been strained. We have poor communication, we rarely agree on anything and I often feel resentful towards him, he also drinks too much alcohol, but the one thing driving my decision is we do occasionally have disagreements in-front of our kids and I’m concerned about the impact it’s having on them, also I’m not happy in the relationship anymore.
How do you know if it’s the right decision to leave?

Do you want to fix it? Does he? Is the alcohol the driving factor in the strain and resentment?

It took me too long to decide - but in reality I knew much earlier- it just took me a while to realise I was allowed to pull the plug.

But I think if you get to the stage when all you can think about is being on your own - it is time.

I think sometimes in a marriage you end up thinking everyone’s else feelings/happiness is more important than yours.

Lots of concerns like housing arrangements. He can take the mortgage on, I can’t, so I will have to find somewhere to rent with 3 kids. Financially, I am going to struggle.
We don’t agree on anything parenting wise, we can’t communicate, as he’s always hostile, I’m always carrying the mental load for the kids. I don’t think we actually like each other, if I’m being honest.

The alcohol was often a source of resentment, but also he’s emotional unavailable and out communication has always been poor, even when I've tried to improve things.

One of the questions that helped me decide was asking myself what advice I’d give to my children in 30 years time if they were in a similar relationship/marriage? I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I’d tell them to leave.

TBH, I've often thought when I read threads like this that if you are asking the question, it probably is time. From your update, I would say you are done.

Don't overthink it all just yet. You are entitled to 50% of assets as a start point - house equity, pensions, savings, investments etc. Gather the information before you do anything. It's not as simple as just transferring the mortgage, neither party is supposed to be disadvantaged.