In 2005 I met my ex husband. We married in 2006, had a baby in 2007 and I left in 2009, divorced in 2010. I was 17, he was 26. I was 22 when I left.
My son was 18 months old. He turned 18 this year. He’s seen his “dad” twice in his lifetime. I have been with my current husband for 10 years.
My ex was a brutal man. He was violent, abusive and controlling, and his controlling nature continued throughout our relationship and in the years after our divorce, until I completely cut ties, changed my number, moved house and kept myself private on all social media. There was suspected child abuse on our son and years later it was in the paper that he had been soliciting a 15 year old daughter of a friend.
He stalked me for several years and caused me to lose jobs because of his frivolous complaints. (I wasn’t sacked, just had to move jobs very quickly)
I haven’t spoken to him for about 16 years. Neither has my son. No maintenance, no birthday or Christmas cards…… nothing.
I had a flurry of messages via Facebook messenger (as that’s the only way they can contact me) in the night from various women that he’s had children with (14 kids, my son included, he was the 2nd) telling me that he died at the weekend. To each message, I responded “thank you for letting me know”.
His sister then messaged me and told me the full story of how he died. Not a very nice ending to be honest….. I also said “thank you for letting me know”.
She must have we disappointed with my response, as she put “is that it? Not even I’m sorry for your loss?”
what does she want me to say? She KNEW what was happening when he was abusing me, she knew what he was doing behind my back with other women and when I left the relationship, she spun me as a liar to everyone.
I genuinely don’t care that he’s dead. I’m just glad I don’t have to walk in his shadow anymore or worry about him popping up. The only thing I’m sad about is that my son won’t be able to connect with him in the future; if he wanted to.
Ive told my son, who said he doesn’t care (but I don’t know, it’s too soon to know)
Anyway, I did ask her to let me know when the funeral was, in case my son wanted to go, otherwise to leave us alone and to never contact us again.
She was then spiteful and said a few horrible things to me, so I just said that “I don’t care that he’s dead” and then left it as that.
Am I in the wrong here?