Cannot live this massive lie but finding it hard to actually seperate

[Pinkypoo123]

I've been with my husband for 28 years, we have 2 sons and I have children from a previous relationship he helped raise.From day 1 there has been issues with him hiding friendships with females,strong signs his cheated over the years but when confronted he never admits anything.5 year's ago I found out by going through txt messages between him and his best friend that he had children i never knew about.After confronting him with over 50 messages he denied it.Eventually he admitted it but says he never slept with her,he was a sperm donor! Despite me reminding him id seen message's he'd send this woman saying he'd always be there for her ,begging to see his children etc he still after its destroying our marriage refuses to change his story.Is still secretive over his phone,his friends everything, I know its over,my whole life with him has been built on lies,im exhausted, sad,lonely but cannot seem to finish this once and for all.

You've known this for five years so what has brought you to the conclusion you need to separate now ... 5 years later?

OP, you’ve known about this for five years and done nothing about it. Do you still love him? Do you feel you are better off with him than without him? Whatever dalliances he may have had, he’s still here with you - he hasn’t left you for the mother of his “sperm donor” children. Perhaps you both need counselling to come to terms with the situation - but if you’ve put up with it for 28 years, why would you suddenly want to tear everything up now? I’d be reasonably sure that your DC would rather you stayed together, even if they are now young adults. That, incidentally, is not a reason to stay married - but you do need to decide what it is you want, and what you see as your future.

I know I've known for 5 years,I've just been trying to save my marriage as even though our children have grown up our youngest has complex needs both medical and educational, I've just kept trying but deep down I know its over.He promised me we'd go counselling together but later backtracked saying he doesn't want to do it.I got counselling for myself this year,I did 12 weeks which I needed.Yes I do love him but its not the same and im still extremely angry and hurt with him.One of my children won't even talk to him or come to his family home anymore as his very hurt with my husband but my husband's refusing to discuss how its affecting everyone,I don't want to be in a physical relationship with him anymore but im finding it extremely hard to end it with him,he just won't go I know he won't as he only ever does what he wants,I just feel stuck.