How can i divorce?

[Hjsjshsn]

I’ve come to the realisation that my husband is a complete dick. I wish the terminology “red flag” was around in the 00s. However here we are 20 years later, two DC, large mortgage and 2 private school fees. So how the fuck do I divorce in a way which doesn’t impact on kid’s education?! He is the main breadwinner although I’ve brought a substantial amount to our capital through inheritance.

Deep breath
Get copies of all records so nothing can be hidden
see a solicitor
good luck

You just have to go for it. Dive off the board and swim. The most difficult part of this is getting to breaking point and then sharing it. You have been living like this for several years. You are there. It gets easier from here. X

Consult the best solicitor you can afford for at least an hours appointment taking relevant figures with you. That's the only way to get this sorted out. Don't listen to "advice" on here which is usually wrong.
Best of luck.

Get ducks in a row. Are you working?

Running two households costs more than one. Start by looking at housing options in your general area. Is there a way to create two fully functioning households where the children can split their time while also leaving enough budget to afford school fees?

If there is not violence and you need to flee quickly, do all preparation quietly and take your time. Do not reveal anything until you have a fully realized plan. That includes housing options and having already met with a solicitor. People often make the huge mistake of saying they want a divorce and then being stuck together in the house for months on end. That is miserable for everyone.

How much longer will the kids be in school? Would you rather stay married and keep them in private school than divorce and have them ina state school? What will DH think about their education? Lots of factors here.

My divorce to a high earning breadwinner has been so unbelievably nightmarish - and probably taken years off my life due to stress - I would advise you to stay married until the kids are out of education if you possibly can- unless there is domestic abuse involved, of course.
I know that's not a popular opinion here - but can you just lead separate lives with the dickhead. Because you think he's a dickhead now - wait until you try to divorce him. Then you'll really have your eyes opened to how much a dick he really is.
(Sorry - bad week!) Mine is about to drag me through court - which my Sol advises I'll win, CHatGPT advises I'll win - but the process is the punishment, as they say. He shouted he'd leave me with nothing - now he seems determined to - via court legal fees.
And if he's anything like mine - he won't put the children first.

Sorry - will just stress that I think I'll be ok in the end - but wanted to say how incredibly stressful & difficult it can be. Be ready was stupid games.

You just have to bite the bullet and fully come to terms with the fact that your living standards and that of your children will change. There is no guarantee he will continue paying for their education. You will also likely have to give up a portion of your inheritance unless it’s ringfenced legally as it is now a marital asset

Well it’s most likely you can’t. So you need to either accept that or stay put until they’ve finished school

but running two households and two private schools is expensive and if that can’t be done they’d need to move to state.

it will depend on your assets and incomes though. But along with divorce usually comes changes to lifestyle