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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Does the bit where he comes to pick up the kids get any easier?

2 replies

Sighohbarn · 13/12/2025 20:05

The kids are all teenagers so it's not like I'm handing anyone over.

He pulls into the driveway and sits there with the engine running. The kids go down and get in. Then I watch as the man who destroyed our family and broke our hearts drives away with my babies. I know. I'm sounding dramatic. But I've been surprised by how hard I find that bit. I cried the first time - which is weird because they're just going out for ice-cream with their dad who was my best friend up until a few weeks ago.

I have been civil and polite to him throughout this entire process - even going above and beyond to support the kids to see him. I cheerfully ask them if they had a fun time when they get back. I do not want to add to what they're dealing with. I feel like it would be healthier for the children if we just said a neutral hello, but it's like he's blanking me. He is seeing the children for a couple of hours every couple of weeks. Yesterday he dropped one home and didn't bother to say hello to the other two. I can't imagine doing that.

OP posts:
calminggreen · 13/12/2025 20:09

Over 3 years since my ex husband left and I still find the pick up hard. It’s hard not to show my resentment at this man who I spent two decades with pitching up once a fortnight (or less) to play worlds greatest father for a couple of hours . My children are much younger - 2 were babies when he left so ive got a lot more years to have deal with this!

50notNifty · 16/12/2025 08:49

I think it's even harder when he's not pulling his weight too. Mine does this periodic swooping in and taking them for treats...I have to grit my teeth and get on with the laundry, cleaning etc.
And altho they're not daft, teenagers are never going to complain about nice meals and shopping trips, so he still looks great in their eyes.

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