The kids are all teenagers so it's not like I'm handing anyone over.
He pulls into the driveway and sits there with the engine running. The kids go down and get in. Then I watch as the man who destroyed our family and broke our hearts drives away with my babies. I know. I'm sounding dramatic. But I've been surprised by how hard I find that bit. I cried the first time - which is weird because they're just going out for ice-cream with their dad who was my best friend up until a few weeks ago.
I have been civil and polite to him throughout this entire process - even going above and beyond to support the kids to see him. I cheerfully ask them if they had a fun time when they get back. I do not want to add to what they're dealing with. I feel like it would be healthier for the children if we just said a neutral hello, but it's like he's blanking me. He is seeing the children for a couple of hours every couple of weeks. Yesterday he dropped one home and didn't bother to say hello to the other two. I can't imagine doing that.