Single moms and money?

[Followthestarsxoxo]

I’m preparing to leave my marriage, I’m financially dependent on him.
I work at a shop 16 hours a week on minimum wage, I want to get my own place for my boys.

we have a home together that we will sell, we havnt lived here too long so I think we would have around £30k equity.

i don’t know where to start or what to do, looking at rent I’m looking around £1000 a month for a 2 bedroom house or £850 for a flat.
how would I possibly be able to pay all the bills alone and then my car and things too.
.

Have you looked to see if you would be eligible for Universal Credit?

universal credit would likely pay some towards rent, check out the turn 2 us benefits calculator, although, if you end up with over 5K in savings they start to deduct it, over 16K you don’t get anything until the savings have gone (been spent on rent etc)

You will be expected to work full I presume depending on the ages of your dc? What will your custody agreement be? 50:50 I assume?…

My youngest is only 1 and isn’t at nursery yet. 50/50 is not what I want and he wouldn’t change I’m his hours at work either so 50/50 wouldn’t be possible because of his job

The only piece of advice I can really give you is that if you go ahead and leave and persue
separation/divorce is this…
the man you divorce is a very very different man to the one you married…do not assume anything! He will do whatever it takes to get things his way or for you to not of things the
way you see fit. Be prepared for him to change his job and/or opt for 50:50.

You will be able to claim UC, but not until your savings are under the max you’re allowed to have. You’d get help with rent and childcare once you’re within savings threshold.

Single parents aren’t expected to work full time. I know a few and all work between 16-20hrs.

If she has her dc 50:50 then she should be able to work more than 20hrs…I’m just repeating what I read on here to be honest. I did say it’s age dependent

As your child is only 1, you won’t be expected to work at all - they will be very happy you’re working 16 hours - It changes when your child turns two but you will only need to work 4 more hours per week to still be eligible for UC.
My advice would be to claim universal credit and rent for now. You will be entitled to housing and help with your bills. You can also claim for child benefit. I have been in your situation and UC was generous and there was more than enough for us to live.

He will also be required to pay you maintenance (if he doesn’t try for 50/50 which I doubt he will) and that does not affect your UC - so depending on how much he earns, he could pay you 1k a month in maintenance and it would not change the amount you receive.

The other option is to take the 30k as a deposit for a properly and see if a mortgage is possible for a flat. Then you won’t be entitled to the housing element of UC which quickly adds up to 30k over a few years but at least you have a property of your own.

I would speak to citizens advice asap

Op should seek to optimise and maximise her own income rather than relying on benefits ultimately as that will improve her own life chances as well as for her child

child’s young but won’t be for long so op can look beyond the now. And with help for childcare costs it’s perfectly possible op could work full time

@Zanatdy ibyhink there’s 2 separate things.

from a financial settlement perspective a court could look at ops ability and earning power as if she was working full time and what income she could have and a settled on that

from a benefits perspective yes with a young child she wouldn’t expected to work full time

Why on earth would you assume 50:50? There are young children involved.

I would stay with him For now and continue to get his help with nursery fees, et cetera meanwhile you squirrel enough money away so that you’re better prepared when you do leave. He will probably turn into the devil and as past posters have said he will be a very different man. I went through this myself with an evil man who has put me through 10 years of hell and if I could go back I would probably do it in a more organised way so I wasn’t struggling. I left and I didn’t get any help with nursing fees or child maintenance and it was a struggle and that was with Me working a good job earning around £38,000 for local government.

The youngest is one and the by the time this is resolved will be close to two. There could be 50:50 co parenting depending on obvious factors like work.

The OP shouldn’t rule out possibilities and options. There is an option for benefits but it would also be better if the OP could work and maintain her career. This is of long term benefit to her in the job market and financially.

Claiming benefits and being the default parent more than 50% of the time could trap the OP into poverty in the long term and if she takes the lions share of the equity in the short term as well.

You have to work more hours

They certainly should be expected to work full time! Why should the taxpayer pay for them to stay at home

Because the Dad has as much of a right to see the children as the Mum. And the children have a right to have a relationship with their dad so yes I assume it starts at 50-50 unless there’s some sort of abuse involved. Why do I think this?…because I’ve been through it!

Well I do agree personally, and I am a single mum myself (working full time). I have had staff return to work on say 4 days and soon drop to 16hrs as that’s the minimum they need to work to get universal credit. I know 4-5 ladies who are doing that. I do feel the government could save a fortune if it increased that to say 30hrs min, especially as they are also paying childcare.