Depressing loneliness after seperation

[WolfWolfieWolf]

I'm very lucky, I have a lot of friends, busy job. I know I can seek people out and get support. But it's something else I'm feeling. It's waking up with no one in the bed. No conversation in the morning, getting home. Late evenings are the worst like right now. Teen DC , boys, are very in their rooms, they pop down to check on me I think, but don't want to sit with me except under duress if you know what I mean! . It's not lack of love or care, just teens. I do distract myself, read, watch TV etc. but it's like a deep loneliness all the time, just not having him around. We had to separate for complex reasons, been together 23 yrs.
I don't want to date at all
But it's that kind of companionship I'm missing. Anyway just hoping others have positive stories of healing after separation from a long marriage

I can relate to this, even though my marriage was dead for a long time. We had to separate because of the impact on the kids.

I felt very lonely for a year, despite very good friends and a busy life.

I couldn’t conceive of having another relationship, but it ended up happening to me, and I love the companionship. We don’t live together and I’m not sure we ever will, we both love our own space.

Is there room in your life for someone you don’t life with/ have to change your life for?

not that I’m suggesting that’s the only answer at all, more to say it helped me to stay open minded

I totally get this. Just moved out and now living on my own - albeit with the dog and a couple of cats. It's a horrible thing.

Loneliness is a normal feeling, I think. Everything gets better, I promise you that, is quite a journey but you willbe move on.

I.understand. I gave lived alone all my adut.life but when my last relationship ended I felt very lonely. I missed his company at weekends snd also the laughter and chat on the phone at specified times of the day. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if we had been together a long time. Could you invest in timers for the lights so that you are not going home to a dark and a house that feels unwelcome. A slow cooker emitting the smell of home cooked meals might make it more welcoming. Do you have the sort of set up where a dog might be a possibility? Above all practise self care and be kind to urself OP.

Hello OP I totally get that , I’m exactly the same. I wish I had the answer. I’ve been on my own for a few years after separating after 20 years. . Most of the time it’s ok , I like doing my own thing but at times it’s miserable - like now, Christmas time everyone else doing something / away/ got children’s activities . So I’m spending weekend on own - this weekend I’m keeping busy cleaning, shopping etc but still would love to sit down with someone to watch tv . as Esther Rantzen famously said ' got nobody to do nothing with' i try hard to have someone to see each weekend but there are times like this weekend when no one is available so I exhaust myself keeping busy but feel miserable . But then I know I’ve got a packed weekend with family and friends next weekend. It’s a rollercoaster . You are not alone , it’s a little thing but help that helps x

My husband and I parted after 25yrs, nearly 3 yrs ago. I was lonely, I didn’t want the split so it was very hard for me. I cried nearly constantly for a year. Something happened which meant we had no choice but to spend a lot of time together. To cut a long story short we are back together but we don’t live together. We are talking about him moving back in and, although in many ways I want him home, I am going to miss my own place. If you’d told me this 2 years ago, I’d never have believed it possible.

i totally understand that you don’t want to replace him right now, the thought of dating anyone else terrified me and wasn’t going to happen for a long time, if ever. It was the thought that I’d never have that companionship ever again that frightened me. Forever is a mighty long time.