Divorced 8 years, he moved away when we spilt up (told everyone I had left him for a woman) whereas when DS came along I couldn’t continue to work, look after the house and baby, he didn’t step up, I did it all and just broke down due to exhaustion, decided it would be easier just me and DS - which it was. He said he’d been to work all day, as had I, so he couldn’t cook, clean dishes, wash up, iron etc. but pulled me up if I hadn’t ironed his uniform for work, or made his sandwiches.
8 years later we are both re married, he’s not allowed contact with me, as CAFCASS, SS, police have had lots of involvement, I’ve never stopped access, he took me to court for a court order stating the agreement for DS we already had in place! Total waste of money on both sides, he’s rang DS school and accused me of abuse, he’s rang the police multiple times for ridiculous things and been warned if he carried on he’d be done for wasting police time, all the services have been great and very helpful just to add. He wouldn’t pay any maintenance so I went to the CSA, he then wouldn’t pay what they’d set up so I’ve gone for a collect order, which takes extra off him and extra off me. Obviously that’s caused a kick off so now he’s taken my sons winter coat off him (so I’ve got to buy another one) but he’s also taken my sons school shoes off him before. I honestly could write a book.
Anyway that’s just a bit of background, I could do with the maintenance - £250 per month, EX DH doesn’t and never had paid anything extra and always told me don’t ask because the answers no. Uniform, trips, school shoes etc I have always paid for. He’s never had him school holidays/ sick days and also told me don’t ask him because the answer is no. I pick my DS up from school on the days he goes his DF as he doesn’t finish work in time and he has no one else to ask. I don’t berate his father we just don’t
talk about him and get on with it.
I try to keep my head down and look after DC because if I upset ex DH we both get some form of backlash, now the maintenance and coat, my question is, do I just get an extra job to earn the maintenance and tell him not bother paying if it means he leaves us alone to get on with our lives, he’s still welcome to see him whenever, I’m just no further forward than when we separated and I’m just quite fed up with there always being something. What are everyone’s thoughts?
sorry it’s long winded!