Can't sell house!

[ICantWaitAnotherMinute]

What is the longest anyone has had to continue to live with their exH?

Divorce finalised last month and house has been on the market since May this year. Approx. 9/10 viewings, dropped price three times and about to swap agents when it will drop in price again. Looking at probably selling for the purchase price paid five years ago.

But what with Christmas slow down in the housing market, the thought of another six months sharing with the exH is not filling me with joy. Anyone else in the same boat?

3 years

not great !

OMG @millymollymoomoo 3 Years! How are you doing?

It took is 18 months but as soon as we changed estate agent we sold it. Spring seemed to be the busiest time. Good luck x

@Joopy thank you that gives me hope!

14 months. I lost two stone.

If you are brave you could post on property for some advice. It sounds very difficult.

@MBL Was so naive with the agent and made every mistake going! They overpromised, overpriced and overly useless who just wanted the listing and did bugger-all to get the place sold. Now at the stage where we are hoping to achieve a sale at 90k less than it went on the market for.

I guess I can ruminate a ton about the huge mistakes made - literally in the last 13 years of my life funny enough - but selling this darn house is so hard. It's like gods way of either saying Nah, lets really, really make this tough or that it's fate.

@olderbutwiser I'm hoping you are enjoying your new place?!?! 2 stone is a lot!

It's hard for owners to value a house I think and it's really hard to decide on an agent when there are two people not always pulling in the same direction. I hope you get some interest really soon.

I’d leave it now and relaunch with a new agent in the spring - maybe have a declutter and freshen up paint etc over the winter if it needs it

No point trying to sell now as things slow down and there will be more interest in Jan/Feb time.

Of course there’s a point in continuing to try and sell it. I have offered on and accepted offers in November and December before now. My neighbour had a viewing yesterday and a friend agreed a sale last week.

Price it right and it will sell OP

Any chance either of you could go stay somewhere else while you are selling ? Very difficult unless a large house with plenty of space . How has it been for you so far ?

Are you in positive equity at the price you are currently on at? Would you still be if you dropped the price again? We’ve just sold. We were valued a year ago at a price we were happy with. We took some time to come to market and the EA told us the market had dropped since last year so we should now go on 50k lower. We did but couldn’t sell. The EA advised us to drop the price by another 50k. We did and we sold. Obvs we preferred the first price but a house is only worth what someone will pay. Thankfully we are still in positive equity at the lower price so we were able to accept it. If we’d been looking at negative equity we’d have come off the market and stayed put.

@CoastalCalm @Mehmeh22 I don't think we both want to wait to relist with the new agent til Spring, as if you then add on conveyancing time completion would happen around June/July perhaps? I'd rather take a chance and try to sell sooner rather than later.

@NConthe agreed, current agent said market slows by 50% over Christmas so there are still people looking to buy.

@Soonenough 4 bed so have a bedroom and home office each. Unfortunately family which are close by don't have room and I can't afford to pay my share of mortgage plus bills and rent even just a studio. Its been tough. At times amicable and at other times not so. It's uncomfortable. We are agreed in that we want the house to sell so we can move on with our respective new lives. I have a great support network though which has been a massive help.

@Hellohelga Thankfully yes, currently and would still be even if house sells at purchase price. There does come a point though were if offers were made less than what we bought for we may have to consider staying put for another year to pay down the mortgage and increase the equity amount. But I don't even want to think about that. The 400-500k bracket seems, in this area anyway, to not be moving at all!

I think it's really, really hard to be living in a former home with someone you once loved and had a future with, that is no longer going to happen. I'd like the rest of my life to start now, I've wasted enough time on this chapter.

Most of the time it's put on a brave face or being kind or acting positive in spite (or is it despite) living with someone who quite frankly doesn't respect you, doesn't like you much and when you find out they married you for convenience then it tarnished the past 13 years and who that person truly is to me, and I'm finding it tough to grieve, to have space to be angry and upset and process. It also doesn't help that the other party wanting a specific amount of money as their equity share meant that the higher listing price was what they wanted...

Honestly never, ever again.

Well, I lived with an ex for over nine months, he was buying me out but was always useless at life admin and there wasn't much incentive for him to get on with it all. It was horrific.

My late mum's house has been on the market for 21 months, we're about to drop it now to £200k less than it went on at. I'm afraid the housing market is not great for sellers currently.

It’s sorted now but was really really hard. Fortunately we managed to co exist reasonably well but it meant life was in limbo which was awful . Plus I had to bite my tongue or just say nothing rather than say something which I knew would lead to an argument

household then chain collapsed twice then had. Plus we took it off for 6 months over Christmas etc but it was pretty awful . We did not want to waste money in rent etc as well

@millymollymoomoo gosh that sounds like it was really tough! Limbo is exactly that.

whats your ongoing chain situation? Are you both looking to buy? If so that may be putting buyers off because of the complexity and added risk with that fractured chain. Would one/both of you commit to moving into rented for a bit so the sale is chain free?

Hi, Can I join in moaning please? Not as long as most of you, but I'm stuck living with my Ex waiting on the house selling and I'm starting to really resent it.

He came out in April and the house has been on the market for maybe 2 months. Not a single viewing so naturally I'm getting really worried. We are still getting on ok actually, because we have young kids and have to, but I am miserable at home and cant wait to get my own space.

Ex and I have a plan of waiting till spring, see if things pick up and if they don't then look at switching agents. Ex has resentment for me because I didn't want to get the house put on the market immediately to catch the spring summer market of this year. He had no consideration for what I had to process emotionally, or that fact that nothing financial had been decided or signed off yet. I didn't drag my heels on anything, I just needed a few weeks to get over the shock of him turning my world upside down and having been lied to for over 10 years, while he had clearly been coming to terms with it for months, possibly years. Prick.

I have been containing to live with my STBEH for the last year, our house is not even on the market yet he has been dragging his heels on every step of our divorce and I’m still waiting for him to make full financial disclosure. Until he does that we can’t even start discussing what we’re doing with our assets as I’ve no idea what he has.
He’s still trying to control everything, so I’m just hanging in there. We live in a rural area so even when we put the house on the market it will take some time to sell. Coupled with that there are planning issues and issues with the septic tank that would have to be sorted and that will delay in putting it on the market. I can’t even discuss these issues with him as my solicitor said I’m not to let him know what the strategy is. It’s all a mess. I feel like I’m a guest in my own home as he takes over every room, I feel like I’m just disappearing. When I come home every Evening from work I turned the corner and if his car is in the driveway my heart sinks, I have to put my big girl pants on and pretend everything‘s okay. If this car is not there, I’m delighted and I can rush in and have some time to myself before he comes in and takes over.
It’s truly awful and I can’t see an end in sight, which is worse.

I think unfortunately it just a case of sit tight
the market is slow there so much scare mongering about taxes interest rates and stamp duty
as for the agents tbh what does the agent actually do everyone I know just looks on right move or zoopla
I me always bought a house for the house the agent has never had any part in it

One point I would make is that buyers prefer hassle free sales. Unfortunately divorcing couples have a reputation for not being hassle free. They can be at odds with each over value and the timings of exchanges (they create a fork in the chain). Either create a different narrative- we are downsizing as empty nesters or keep any acrimony about the divorce private.

Was exactly in the same position as yours re. sale. Had given up and was about to take it off the market when agent said they had someone interested. Didn't have the mental energy to get the house ready just before Xmas but they insisted it was a serious prospect.

They visited the house a week before Xmas, put an offer on Christmas eve at asking price. The house we'd been interested in all that time had also come off the market so we got in touch with agent to say we finally had an offer. Everything happened very quickly and we were in our new home at the end of March.

Don't give up. The market might be slower in Xmas time but people still need to move and with less available, it CAN be an excellent time to get that one buyer.

Ah I bet that felt like a Christmas miracle!!

Thats giving me hope that it's just luck and waiting on the right person to come along.

@LemonTT they would have no way of knowing what our reasons are for moving, but STBEXH is as keen to move on as I am.

@newlife4me72 I am in a similar position of a rural house, but luckily it's on the market and no issues with anything like septic tanks. But I totally get the turning in to see his car and my heart dropping. Luckily our house is quite big so there's plenty of room for us to have space. But still feels so claustrophobic