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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Divorcing to protect inheritance

135 replies

weightstrugglinmum · 08/11/2025 23:23

Just as the title reads really, I'm wondering if anyone has divorced to protect their expected inheritance?

I'm thinking of this to protect myself and my young sons future as my in-laws financial situation is a poop show and when they pop their clogs it's going to be potentially very difficult to resolve and very costly. And I want nothing to do with that.

OP posts:
No5ChalksRoad · 09/11/2025 00:20

weightstrugglinmum · 08/11/2025 23:39

If I inherited from my remaining parent whilst still married, my 'dh' would be entitled to half of it, which in turn means he could use my parents hard earned money to resolve in-laws financial incompetence and mismanagement, basically bailing his family out.

Now I've typed that, that just can't happen.

Inheritances generally are not marital property. See a lawyer or IFA as soon as possible .

No5ChalksRoad · 09/11/2025 00:21

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 09/11/2025 00:19

There's a difference between two prudent spouses staying together during a tight period (e.g. job loss), and one spouse being a chronically financially-irresponsible liability to the other.

Edited
Show quote history

Well said.

the general ignorance re financial and legal affairs is quite depressing.

Original poster
weightstrugglinmum · 09/11/2025 00:22

Thank you all for your responses. I am reassured somewhat as financially, divorce would be a struggle right now, and i was worried that if worse case scenario happened and my remaining parent passed away whilst i was still married, that would mean he could touch the inheritance (which would be mine and my kids future security).

I need to get my ducks in a row now though

OP posts:
selffellatingouroborosofhate · 09/11/2025 00:23

Potteryclass1 · 09/11/2025 00:08

I’m with you on this one. I expect lots of people here won’t understand unless they’re in your shoes.
I wonder if what you’re scared of is you getting inheritance whilst married. You invest it in a bigger house, for example. Then you die first or get divorced and your husband ends up with either 100% or 50% (as starters).
what he does with that 50% or 100% is totally in his hands. He should be clever and make sure it ends up with your kids. But if he’s stupid or easily persuaded he could
a) remarry and his new wife end up with your kids inheritance
b) sell property to pay off his family’s debt, end up renting and then nothing for your kids

it’s something I lose sleep over too. My husband has not contributed equally to our marriage or house. My mum helped me bring up our kids. I have worked my arse off to get us to where we are on the property ladder. I earn much more but what’s really worrying is that I do ALL the admin and budgeting and planning and saving to get us where we are . He doesn’t even know how to log on to internet banking.

if we split up hes get 50% as a starting point. Any new GF and he’d let her take over all the admin because he doesn’t understand any of it.

remarry and his new wife end up with your kids inheritance

This is depressingly commonplace.

Original poster
weightstrugglinmum · 09/11/2025 00:25

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 09/11/2025 00:23

remarry and his new wife end up with your kids inheritance

This is depressingly commonplace.

Show quote history

Yes exactly, and that will no way happen!

OP posts:
WiseAdviceNeededPlease · 09/11/2025 00:28

weightstrugglinmum · 08/11/2025 23:47

I thought any inheritance became a marital asset and could be half claimed by soon to be ex partner?

No he won't get your inheritance if you don't "co-mingle" it by putting it in joint accounts / assets just keep it in a totally separate account

TheSilentSister · 09/11/2025 00:28

OP, I had been separated a number of years when my DM died. I wanted to make sure STBexDH couldn't get his hands on any of my inheritance. I saw a family lawyer who advised me to get a 'final financial order' meaning he couldn't come after the inheritance at a later date. I also very promptly went ahead with divorce proceedings. So, when I completed all the financial forms, I wasn't legally in receipt of any inheritance. Hope that makes sense.

Original poster
weightstrugglinmum · 09/11/2025 00:33

TheSilentSister · 09/11/2025 00:28

OP, I had been separated a number of years when my DM died. I wanted to make sure STBexDH couldn't get his hands on any of my inheritance. I saw a family lawyer who advised me to get a 'final financial order' meaning he couldn't come after the inheritance at a later date. I also very promptly went ahead with divorce proceedings. So, when I completed all the financial forms, I wasn't legally in receipt of any inheritance. Hope that makes sense.

Yes thank you, I'll di that. That was another thing i was worried about, him trying to access it retrospectively somehow, as he knows its in the pipeline

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 09/11/2025 00:44

If you aren't married yet, I'd seriously reconsider whether I wanted to marry this man or not. If you can't trust him not to use that money for his parents over your objections and/or to disadvantage your children should you predecease him, then he's not trustworthy enough to marry.

Also if you do marry him you can't divorce him quick enough to protect an inheritance once it becomes 'fact'. If 'in the fullness of time' your remaining parent dies and you get an inheritance it would be at least 6 months, more likely a year before a divorce would be finalized because you know he will fight you for 'his share'.

I'd suggest you get good legal advice before you marry him. All the well intentioned advice given here isn't worth 1% of seeing an actual solicitor and getting advice from them.

Original poster
weightstrugglinmum · 09/11/2025 00:49

That will be my next post, asking for solicitor recommendations !!!!

OP posts:
nomas · 09/11/2025 01:29

JudgeBread · 08/11/2025 23:59

Did you guys just leave the "for richer for poorer" part out of your vows then?

I don’t think for richer or poorer means bankrolling your insolvent in laws.

Bethany83 · 09/11/2025 04:04

Could you maybe ask your parent to have any inheritance put into your children's names maybe? But appreciate you may need some of that. See a good financial advisor and they will know. Good luck

SouthernNights59 · 09/11/2025 05:47

No5ChalksRoad · 09/11/2025 00:21

Well said.

the general ignorance re financial and legal affairs is quite depressing.

Show quote history

The general attitude to making plans based on money which currently belongs to someone else is quite depressing.

Hons123 · 09/11/2025 05:57

It is called a strategic divorce in legalese. What was once the mainstay of mafia families to protect the assets when family members go to jail following confiscation of assets, is now a popular thing among the well-healed.

Octavia64 · 09/11/2025 06:02

weightstrugglinmum · 08/11/2025 23:47

I thought any inheritance became a marital asset and could be half claimed by soon to be ex partner?

The law is different in different places. You’d want legal advice for the country you live in

Whyherewego · 09/11/2025 06:05

weightstrugglinmum · 09/11/2025 00:22

Thank you all for your responses. I am reassured somewhat as financially, divorce would be a struggle right now, and i was worried that if worse case scenario happened and my remaining parent passed away whilst i was still married, that would mean he could touch the inheritance (which would be mine and my kids future security).

I need to get my ducks in a row now though

It's pretty clear in that article that if you'd struggle financially to divorce then the inheritance would be looked at in order to ensure each party was adequately provided for. If your surviving parent is willing to sign over some stuff to you, then you may want to divorce anyway and just weather the financial impact, potentially then afterwards with some help from your parent

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 09/11/2025 06:10

weightstrugglinmum · 08/11/2025 23:39

If I inherited from my remaining parent whilst still married, my 'dh' would be entitled to half of it, which in turn means he could use my parents hard earned money to resolve in-laws financial incompetence and mismanagement, basically bailing his family out.

Now I've typed that, that just can't happen.

No, inheritance is not considered a joint marital asset unless you put it into a joint account or use it to buy a joint asset- ie a home without any legal ring fencing of the funds.

StewkeyBlue · 09/11/2025 06:14

I am not so sure that keeping your inheritance separate and not co-mingling is foolproof.

Yes, it may be recognised as your pot, but on divorce if he does not have enough to support himself he might be awarded a much bigger share of the marital pot because you have your inheritance to rely on. So he gets it in a roundabout way.

But I am not a lawyer.

Muffinmam · 09/11/2025 06:17

weightstrugglinmum · 08/11/2025 23:39

If I inherited from my remaining parent whilst still married, my 'dh' would be entitled to half of it, which in turn means he could use my parents hard earned money to resolve in-laws financial incompetence and mismanagement, basically bailing his family out.

Now I've typed that, that just can't happen.

Why haven’t you sought legal advice? You need a lawyer who can give advice on family law matters and inheritance matters.

Why would your money go into paying your husband’s deceased parent’s debt??

If you want to divorce then do it. But you need legal advice now. Your husband needs legal advice as well.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 09/11/2025 06:18

StewkeyBlue · 09/11/2025 06:14

I am not so sure that keeping your inheritance separate and not co-mingling is foolproof.

Yes, it may be recognised as your pot, but on divorce if he does not have enough to support himself he might be awarded a much bigger share of the marital pot because you have your inheritance to rely on. So he gets it in a roundabout way.

But I am not a lawyer.

Nothing is fool proof.
I was answering that there is no automatic entitlement to half as it isnt a marital asset.

Unless he is disabled, the fact he can support himself through work at a higher wage than the OP will be the primary consideration.

Muffinmam · 09/11/2025 06:19

nomas · 09/11/2025 01:29

I don’t think for richer or poorer means bankrolling your insolvent in laws.

Show quote history

I agree

Muffinmam · 09/11/2025 06:20

weightstrugglinmum · 08/11/2025 23:58

I think if I got divorced sooner rather than later, things would be signed over to me then to minimise inheritance tax.

Absolutely, I don't want my parents hard earned money potentially bailing out his families mess, totally brought on by themselves

How much money are you even talking about?

Yamamm · 09/11/2025 06:25

Would it be a strategic divorce or would it be the end?
I’ve had a similar situation but am strategically staying married even though we’ve been separated for years. I don’t feel bad about it because I am protecting my children. He won’t.

CombatBarbie · 09/11/2025 06:28

weightstrugglinmum · 08/11/2025 23:47

I thought any inheritance became a marital asset and could be half claimed by soon to be ex partner?

Only if its used for marital things, holidays, cars, debts etc. If its secured in a named account he wont be entitled to half.

onyourway · 09/11/2025 06:34

If your parents hand over assets prior to them dying, to save paying inheritance tax, those sums of money will not be treated as an inheritance in a divorce (because they are not dead, it will just be a gift). You will need to check how that would be treated as i think it is less likely to be ringfenced