First Christmas since separation/DC Birthday

[RhetoricalFlamingo]

I’m dreading Christmas this year, first Christmas since separating and things are messy.

Ex has Christmas Day and Boxing Day off. DS’ birthday is on Boxing Day - DS is mostly with his Dad in the family home these days and will likely want to stay there both days. He also doesn’t like me coming in the house. We haven’t discussed it with DS yet. I did originally think that I could spend the day up there and we could all celebrate together. I even naively thought that I could maybe stop the night on Christmas night.

Younger sibling-mostly with me-ASD and limited understanding of the situation but loves Christmas and being with his sibling.

My parents always see DS on his birthday and are insisting that they see him this year which adds to the stress!

How on earth will Christmas work this year?! I am yet to discuss the situation with ex but I am not holding out much hope. What about younger sibling? It’s sad to think of them split up on Christmas Day.

I am grieving and pining for our lovely cosy christmases where we were all together. I normally love Christmas and would be the one to make it special for everyone. So much has been lost and it is very hard to accept. It’s hard to look back on Christmas photos from last year. I ended my marriage and now I’m filled with regret and I am devastated at what has been lost.

Oh it’s you again

your son does not want to stay at yours overnight. He has repeatedly told you this. In fact begged you to listen.

You have repeatedly pushed to be able to come on to your ex’s home but again your 13 year old ds has said he doesn’t want you there

listen to your boy and respect him

Your son is a teen so if he doesn’t want to leave the house on his birthday, you’ll have to accept that and see if ds will agree to some sort of compromise like celebrating on the 27th.

You are very unreasonable to think of fantasies like staying over on the 25th when ds wouldn’t want that. Tell your parents that Ds’ feelings are the most important issue here and however much they insist, you aren’t going to risk damaging your relationship with Ds further.

You might need to accept that the siblings might get their Christmas together at ex’s house this year as that’s the solution that is most acceptable to ds1.

You got plenty of answers on the last identical thread.

Don’t bother @Snorlaxo

there is one heck of a back story to this

this poor boy is relentlessly pursued by the op when he’s been so clear. He wants to be left in peace from her.

Ffs I’m not talking about Christmas/birthday plans. Not overnights etc.

And he won’t want to come to yours
and he won’t want you to come to his

fgs, this poor boy

Thats the issue with divorce - it wasn't my choice but if it was, I made my bed...

Focus on the time with your other child. Or simply ask your son to be at yours for lunch. Why is he so against being with you?