Divorce and new house

[ThoseBootsAreMadeForWalking]

Hi All,

I’m in the process of buying a new house to be close to DC’s school. I am getting ready to file for divorce but unfortunately unable to buy my STBXH out out right.

The new house is a practical choice made necessary by DC’s special needs and I will be able to pay the mortgage on my own. I am the main care giver and financial provider.

Has anybody had any experience of being awarded the occupation of the house until DC turns 18 even if DC hasn’t lived in there before (technically they won’t have an established routine there)? TIA x

You're buying a house with your stbx?

I think unless there are extreme sn and the house has adjustments made especially for DC (rather than say, close to school for example) you will have a hard time arguing for a mesher order. They are incredibly rare as ultimately one party is tied to a debt and financially unable to move on ie buying their own place.

You need to really sensibly consider a home affordable to you without all of the available equity, or starting from 50% of it only. You could argue primary carer for a bigger % of the equity (but this would be managed by child maintenance), and as main financial provider there would unlikely be spousal award.

What do ALL the figures look like op?

Are you saying you are buying a house with your husband and as soon as you've signed the papers, you're going to tell him to take a hike and then expect to continue to live there comfortably whilst he'll most likely have to rent for years because he won't be able to get a second mortgage? Surely not!

I contributed around 80% of the current house (the walls and 100% of the furniture), including most of the deposit and all of the additional mortgage payments with my bonuses, Christmas money or anything extra. The mortgage will be in my name only in the new house because he can’t hold down a job and won’t be eligible. I am trying to navigate exiting an unsafe coercive relationship (that’s the context for what it is taking me longer to be able to break free). I will give him as much as I can upfront but was hoping I could give him the rest when me and DC can move to a cheaper location (in terms of figures, I’m thinking maybe 10% of current equities now and 30% when DC turns 18. I’m not hoping for maintenance realistically.

You're married. That means that half the house is his.

You've made out he's a useless selfish bastard so I doubt he'll just nod along with your plan that you take 80-90% of all the assets.

Does HE know you're planning divorce?

Occupation of the house until dc is 18, with exes equity tied up, when he has no job and will be reliant on benefits to house him , or facing homelessness. I can't see a judge agreeing to that.
In an unsafe, coercive relationship he's not going to go quietly. That's not to say you shouldn't proceed with divorce, but I think your plans for the family home are completely unrealistic.

Yes I agree about the not going quietly. Sufficient amount of threat have been exercised every time I brought up divorce to make me back down and keep me stuck. I need to find another solution for me and DC that doesn’t put DC at risk. I have lived very frugally to save to give X but he has made it very clear that he doesn’t want to worry about rent or mortgage and he wants enough to live for free. I was hoping to protect a bit of equity for DC when I’m gone.
When eventually I give X half of my equities, that won’t be enough to buy something and he won’t manage a lumpsum responsibly ao he will no doubt end up homeless anyway. Thank you for the advice.

How sneaky is that. If that is indeed what you intend to do.