Morning everyone. I am just about to start divorce proceedings with my husband of 20 years . I have written about our marriage problems on here many times under a different username but basically I've been going round in circles for the past 5 years. I have been desperately unhappy, completely lost myself, my hair has been falling out, put on huge amounts of weight through comfort eating. My mental heath was being destroyed but I wasnt strong enough to do anything about it.
I have spent the past year getting my ducks in a row and trying to psyche myself up enough to do it . And now I am ready. I know it wont be easy and the next twelve months are going to be extremely difficult. But im trying to look forward.
My husband is a controlling man , not with what I do , wear , see etc but in the house. He makes all the decisions and I have never had any input or say in furniture, decorating etc even down to ornaments, cutlery , cups, plates. I've started to hate everything in the house and cant wait to have my own place.
I've been looking on rightmove and getting a good idea of what's attainable. Every day I feel sad, stressed , down, fed up , anxious.
But today I feel lighter, different. I have made peace with my decision.
I have just been for a walk around home bargains and b&m, looking at all the lovely Xmas decorations and household items. I suddenly felt excited that this time next year my teenage daughter and I can be picking out all new things for our own home!! I feel excited, elated and happy. I'm sorry I've just had to write this down somewhere as noone to talk to in real life