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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Something has lifted in me today, I need to write it somewhere

4 replies

Onwards08274 · 05/11/2025 10:01

Morning everyone. I am just about to start divorce proceedings with my husband of 20 years . I have written about our marriage problems on here many times under a different username but basically I've been going round in circles for the past 5 years. I have been desperately unhappy, completely lost myself, my hair has been falling out, put on huge amounts of weight through comfort eating. My mental heath was being destroyed but I wasnt strong enough to do anything about it.
I have spent the past year getting my ducks in a row and trying to psyche myself up enough to do it . And now I am ready. I know it wont be easy and the next twelve months are going to be extremely difficult. But im trying to look forward.
My husband is a controlling man , not with what I do , wear , see etc but in the house. He makes all the decisions and I have never had any input or say in furniture, decorating etc even down to ornaments, cutlery , cups, plates. I've started to hate everything in the house and cant wait to have my own place.
I've been looking on rightmove and getting a good idea of what's attainable. Every day I feel sad, stressed , down, fed up , anxious.
But today I feel lighter, different. I have made peace with my decision.
I have just been for a walk around home bargains and b&m, looking at all the lovely Xmas decorations and household items. I suddenly felt excited that this time next year my teenage daughter and I can be picking out all new things for our own home!! I feel excited, elated and happy. I'm sorry I've just had to write this down somewhere as noone to talk to in real life

OP posts:
Gottocopebymyself · 05/11/2025 10:11

I am so glad you are feeling at peace with your decision OP.

Your change in mindset will give you the strength to do what you have to do.

All best wishes to you going forward to a better life

eone · 05/11/2025 13:42

Oh Op, it's a lovely feeling, excitement for the new, better chapter.

I remember this exact feeling, so empowering! For me it's been 6 years of my new life since I have left hom. ExH made the divorce a hell, but I came out on the other side. Life is beautiful nowStar

Fingers crossed for you, enjoy your better life Flowers

notmypeasnotmyallotment · 05/11/2025 14:27

I remember the first time I got that feeling, its amazing knowing you can do whatever you want without having to check with someone. I'm still waiting to sell the marital home but fingers crossed next year will be my year,

Good luck in your divorce journey, its really up and down even when you think you are now ok. This forum helped me greatly, especially reading posts from those who had come out the other side already :)

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 05/11/2025 14:31

Ime there is nothing like that first cuppa made in your new home.
Exh refused to sell or move out. House was repossessed. No regrets that I've rented ever since...
He died 2 years ago. The relief was mammoth...
Buy a sneaky voucher for B & M when you can. Hide them with a friend. Good luck op.

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