Looking for some advice please!
My ex husband and I separated 2 years ago. Things are difficult between us but we still speak for the sake of the kids (x4).
For last year my DD’s (13, 15) have been getting upset and refusing to go to their Dads. I kept pushing them to go until Feb this year when they made a disclosure at school that their Dad was physically assaulting them (hitting, smacking), emotionally abusing them (name calling) and exposing them to conversations that weren’t suitable for their age (around sex and pornography).
social services attended and immediately refused their Dad any contact with any of the children including my DS’s (11, 18) whilst they investigated. The police were also in attendance. Social services completed a full report over 3 months and came and visited the children and interviewed them individually without me being present at several points during that time. They then ended their investigation and concluded that there was evidence of physical and emotional abuse with my DD’s and emotional abuse with my DS(11). They noted that both my DD’s expressed fear in seeing their Dad and that they didn’t want any contact with him. They made the recommendation that contact should be their choice. My DS’s both said that they still wanted contact but didn’t want it as frequently. They both continue to see him each weekend.
The girls decided to make a police complaint against their Dad because they had evidence of injuries from hitting and sound recordings of him shouting and swearing. The police brought him in for questioning and he was then given a caution for assault of a minor which will remain on his record for 3 years.
Now he is trying to force my DD’s to see him. The don’t want to and are becoming very upset and anxious that he is going to make them. He has now applied for mediation and I’m being forced to book a MIAM meeting because if I don’t, I’m being told that he could take me to court for custody or enforced access.
I’m going to do the MIAM. I have a copy of their social services report which details the children’s account of everything.
Can he force them? Will a court make them see him? I don’t know how to protect them.
additionally, one of my DS’s is now an adult so he can make his own choices, but my younger son is only 11 and I’m really worried about him being hurt too even though he hasn’t said that anything has happened. But he is expressing feeling very guilty if he doesn’t go and see his Dad because it “would make Dad sad.”
Any help or advice really gratefully received.