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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Court Order to force contact

40 replies

JenG1967 · 02/11/2025 12:50

My ex and I have been divorced for a year now. We have two children, 10 and 14. He only has them every other weekend and wont have them any more despite me asking him to have them more.

I decided to complete a C100 court order and request he have them more. Was this the right thing to do and will they step in?

Thank you for any assistance.

OP posts:
jelllyontheplate · 02/11/2025 15:42

Why would you want to force someone to see your children when they don’t want to? Don’t you think that would damage your children more than anyone else?

RAPSMom · 02/11/2025 15:56

So you get the children ready, they’re waiting, maybe watching out of the window. Father doesn’t turn up = disappointed children 😢. Try asking for extra weekends occasionally when wanting or needing to do something special to start with…and see if he’s willing to do that.

thisisalot · 02/11/2025 16:04

Everyone saying do you even like your children, absolutely shocking. Probably never been a single parent and understand how difficult and lonely it can be, not being able to do things in the evening and constantly in mum mode. If you have a supportive partner you can take turns, if you are on your own it’s impossible to have social hobbies or see your friends without kids there. Any scrap of time is used to do chores and jobs.

I’m a single parent and I understand the relief when someone steps in to help out so you can, god forbid, have some free time to yourself.

Like another poster has suggested, maybe ask ex to take kids one night mid-week. He might not see any issue with the current arrangements, but he also might not understand how difficult it is for you. I guess it depends on the relationship you have with him, but might be worth appealing to his more compassionate side, and selling it as best for everyone.

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/11/2025 16:07

How much less do you want them? They’re in school and with him every other weekend. Does he have them extra over holidays?

RAPSMom · 02/11/2025 16:09

thisisalot · 02/11/2025 16:04

Everyone saying do you even like your children, absolutely shocking. Probably never been a single parent and understand how difficult and lonely it can be, not being able to do things in the evening and constantly in mum mode. If you have a supportive partner you can take turns, if you are on your own it’s impossible to have social hobbies or see your friends without kids there. Any scrap of time is used to do chores and jobs.

I’m a single parent and I understand the relief when someone steps in to help out so you can, god forbid, have some free time to yourself.

Like another poster has suggested, maybe ask ex to take kids one night mid-week. He might not see any issue with the current arrangements, but he also might not understand how difficult it is for you. I guess it depends on the relationship you have with him, but might be worth appealing to his more compassionate side, and selling it as best for everyone.

I was at one time a single parent so understand. My child was ready and waiting only to be disappointed when Father failed to turn up…

thisisalot · 02/11/2025 16:25

RAPSMom · 02/11/2025 16:09

I was at one time a single parent so understand. My child was ready and waiting only to be disappointed when Father failed to turn up…

Show quote history

This I understand. I think the OP didn’t appreciate what the court system is for, and is desperate for some respite after years of mainly solo parenting. Those jumping on her saying “oh why don’t you get them put into care” etc should be ashamed of themselves.

BarnacleNora · 02/11/2025 16:26

OP you’re getting a real pasting on here and I’m really sorry for that. God forbid you want a break 🙄 I’m a single parent, have been for the last 10 years since my ex charmingly decided to leave me in my final month of pregnancy with our DC2. He also only sees the kids EOW. It is bloody hard and you are permanently ‘on’. I’ve not had much of a social life, not been able to start a new relationship (no time to invest properly in dating although in fairness the OLD scene where I lived was pretty dire) and my career has suffered because I had to be the one on family friendly hours at all times during the working week. It. Is. A. Slog. And meanwhile my ex has leapt ahead in his career and is engaged with another child. Because he was able to be a single person for two weeks then be ‘dad’ for a whole weekend out of his time. It is what it is and it’s not a rare story. I will say that the bond I have now with my kids is truly something special and as they are getting older it is genuinely becoming more fun but wanting a break more often is certainly not a crime and no indication of how much you love your children. It’s depressingly predictable to see the vitriol being directed towards you rather than the father of your children who is completely happy to only be with his kids 26 times a year. The misogyny truly does come from within the house…..
Anyway, sadly people are right. You can’t force him to have them more and neither can anyone else. Even with a court order (which is very unlikely to be granted without mediation and given the wishes of him and your children) nobody is going to go to his house and drag him to yours to pick up his kids. Someone once suggested to me that I drive to my ex and park up with mine in the car. And then what? Show them that their dad refused to come and see them or take them in? In divorce it’s all about protecting the kids and their (sometimes very fragile) view of the other parent and what that means for their self esteem. Even if it’s the bitterest pill to swallow for you. It does get better. It may never be fair. You may never get a proper break (who can afford babysitters every weekend? Especially on a single parent income?!) But at some point they will grow and you will gain some nights off again. And your children will know who put the work in and who did the bare minimum one day ❤️

Lennonjingles · 02/11/2025 16:33

It is sad that your ex doesn’t want to have them more, although I’ve always understood that every other weekend and once during the week is the norm. Does your ex have them in holidays.

millymollymoomoo · 02/11/2025 17:30

No court will put an order fir a 14 yo

even if a court order says 50/50 all
that does is make you responsible for having the children available for collection. It does not enforce the dad to collect them. So you make plans, he doesn’t turn up - then what ?

I feel for these kids!

Jango12 · 02/11/2025 17:31

I got told by a family court judge they can’t force parents to see their children

Original poster
JenG1967 · 02/11/2025 19:55

Lennonjingles · 02/11/2025 16:33

It is sad that your ex doesn’t want to have them more, although I’ve always understood that every other weekend and once during the week is the norm. Does your ex have them in holidays.

he’s self employed so time off means no money unfortunately. No sick pay and no holiday pay

OP posts:
Original poster
JenG1967 · 02/11/2025 19:57

thisisalot · 02/11/2025 16:25

This I understand. I think the OP didn’t appreciate what the court system is for, and is desperate for some respite after years of mainly solo parenting. Those jumping on her saying “oh why don’t you get them put into care” etc should be ashamed of themselves.

Show quote history

Yes I did think the care comment was a bit harsh. I don’t want to see my children less, god no, I just want a bit of respite once in a while, that’s all.

I genuinely thought the court order was so that I could get him to do more. I expect they’ll think I’m a right looney when they see it 🙄

Perhaps I need to focus on other options as has been suggested and not waste my energy on a dead end.

OP posts:
Contrarymary30 · 09/01/2026 06:31

JenG1967 · 02/11/2025 13:29

Oh I didn’t realise so it seems I’m confused as to how the court order works . I have a date that they will read it, or whatever they do so what will happen to my application then?

He turns up on the days he has them I just wanted him to have them more

What is the reason you want him to have them more ? What do the kids want ?

StealthMama · 09/01/2026 07:10

jelllyontheplate · 02/11/2025 15:42

Why would you want to force someone to see your children when they don’t want to? Don’t you think that would damage your children more than anyone else?

Because he has parental responsibility too and walk away fathers get away with ditching parenthood on the mothers irrespective of her needs or wishes.

our systems support patriarchy.

Angrybird76 · 09/01/2026 07:21

I think you are getting are hard time here. It's totally wrong that a man, in this day and age can get away with being a part time dad to do his own thing and when a woman dares to challenge that they get told to go to social services and give their children away! Shocking. You are not saying you hate your children. You are saying your ex gets to swan off, be a Disney dad and have a great full life and you don't and that pisses you off. You have a right to feel that way. Sadly courts won't help you. My exh left me for someone else, moved that woman in a straight away and my DD refused to see him for a long time, and even now has sporadic contact. It pissed me off massively that he had just replaced us, social media was full of pictures of her, him and her kids seemingly living their best life. I got a bit bitter about it. I went to counselling and realised I was only hurting myself. I managed to manage my feelings and concentrate on my own life. 5 years on I have a new partner, hobbies, friends and happier than ever, as is DD. He on the other hand is still the same person, messaging other women and playing around. I am much better off without him. You need to stop fogging a dead horse and concentrate on making yourself happy as you deserve it. Pursuing this will just keep you in the past.

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