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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Paying for maintenance: what is fair?

2 replies

fairorgrabby · 29/10/2025 11:11

Separated two years ago but only just done separate finances, and only just got our own places.

Given age of children there will be no formal arrangement of where they stay: they have bedrooms at both houses and I imagine they will bounce between us as they wish, alongside the usual teen sleepovers/parties/friends houses.

We are trying to work out the best and fairest way to pay for the children. One suggestion is that we pay into a joint account which is then used for child-related expenses. Does that sound like a reasonable way of doing it?

There is also a question of whether way each pay the same amount into that account, or pay in proportion to our salaries. The difference in salaries is around 10-12K, with one salary in the £40Ks and another salary in the £50Ks.

I am trying to work out what is fair and reasonable. DS is about to turn 18 and is likely to go to uni so will continue to need support for some years.

OP posts:
Pleasealexa · 29/10/2025 11:15

One child? If going to Uni then a separate account. However if getting loans consider which parent will be assessed for student loans. Where does child benefit go now?

The key factor is agreeing what to pay for and then if both in agreement by % of income...however it's usual that separated couples aren't that keen to share salary details.

fairorgrabby · 29/10/2025 11:31

Two children, both will probably go to uni.
We have a rough idea of salary details since we only just separated finances properly. Obviously salary details are likely to change in future

Is it more common to agree to split equally or proportionally?
Is there anyone else who has had to work this out at this stage?
Thanks

OP posts:
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