Showing past 12 months finances, when does it start from? I dont want him to see it

[Bitunsure92739]

I haven't started the divorce process yet, trying to get my ducks in a row first.
I'm really not happy about having to show 12 months finances. Can anyone tell me is it 12 months from the start of the divorce or 12 months from when the financial order is required? (How far in will that be? 6 months?)

Basically I have been financial abused by my husband for a long time. He was a higher earner and kept all the money in his own accounts, nothing joint. I worked too but less income per month but he has had me paying for absolutely everything so im down to zero every month whilst he sits on his money.

My mum gives me money every month , between £300 and £500 that he doesn't know about . My dad is also about to give me £5000 which I also don't want him to know about. This would show up on the statement.
On top of this i have given up my job due to a chronic pain condition and stress, but I haven't told husband yet. (Just finished notice period) . I get benefits for my disability that equal the same amount my wage was so not bringing in less but he would have forbidden me to do this. If I had carried on I would have ended up in hospital with physical and mental problems as im struggling to cope with everything. I feel like I have got myself into a pickle.

Once we are separated and I have equity from the house and my current income I will be fine financially but I dont want him to see on my bank statements when I finished working and my parents giving me cash. What do I do ? I feel very trapped and in an insanely stressful situation. This is because im scared of his reaction, especially if we will need to keep living together until the house is sold

Have your parents draw up a loan agreement. Presumably without their input, you have a monthly shortfall?

No there is nothing drawn up. The money is a gift. My mum knows about our issues so gives me enough to help cover everything.
This is because in the past if I've gone to him and told him I dont have enough to cover everything that month he wants to go over everything with a fine tooth comb, interrogate me over every penny spent and berate me about where I've gone wrong or shouldn't have spent. So I stopped asking him and turned to my parents instead

It's the 12 months preceding the date that you submit Form E - with your situation it would be worth getting some free legal advice. Can your dad give you the money in cash instead if you don't want it to show up on the statement?

Yes I am going to ask for it in cash. My mum gives it to me in cash aswell but I have to pay it into my account to cover outgoings. Hers falls under the 3k gift allowance anyway so ok regarding that but he doesn't know about any of it and he will be raging at me about it when he finds out I have been discussing our finances with my parents and making him look bad .

Firstly I would suggest you open your own separate bank account. You may already have one but he may know the details. Do online only statements and use a new email address for it.

Secondly, once you separate what your parents give you is none of his business. You do not need to explain and he has no right to berate you for anything.

The bank statements will only be requested if you go into mediation over your finances. You put your figures into the forms and the other party can request proof via the last 12 months bank statements. Once you apply for your divorce you have to wait 6 months before the conditional order before you can apply for the finance order and mediation would be some way after that if you can’t agree.

You can refuse to give bank statements if you want and only a court can order these to be given. If you are being financially abused this would be more reasonable.

good luck

Ps, if you are getting ducks in rows you may want to consider getting copies of documents, bank statements, payslips, pensions, mortgage statements etc in case money miraculously disappears from his numbers - remember any money is joint regardless whose account it’s in!

@Bitunsure92739 ok let’s say the £5000 best to let your parents keep that for now until you have a plan.
even if your parents gift you this money each month and it is on your bank statements so what because his will show all his incomings that are significantly more than yours. The fear is a terrible thing but he is going to come off worse when you see what cash he had rolling around that he kept from you - even though it is a marital asset.

lets imagine though for this that you got £500 a month then he’s entitled to only 50% of that so £250. I’m pretty sure that half of what he has coming in per month will amount to more than £250? And you can demand bank statements and all sorts!

Get your parents to draw up a loan agreement stating the £5000 is a loan, not a gift, to be repaid at your discretion. This way it will be treated as a debt in financial proceedings.

Once the financial proceedings are complete, your parents can "write off" the apparent loan debt

Does he realize that your bank statement will be proof of his financial abuse? He may not ask for them in that case.

I’d call it a loan too. That way it looks better and won’t be held against you.

Glad you’re escaping him.

Ask parents to open an account in their name (s) and give you a card to access funds that way it won’t show up in your name

Thank you for all of the advice. As you can see I am scared of his reaction and can't seem to understand that once we are separated it is nothing to do with him.
I have some good ideas I can work with here. Thanks again

If you had in the past agreed with your mum that the £500 a month was loaned and it needs to be paid back, and had documented it, dated back then, that would help too as he would be liable for paying half of it back to your mum. Just saying… Maybe keep those documents safe until the court…

Not sure how doable this is but could your parents pay some of the bills directly rather than "giving" you the money. Would then not be visible?

I'm very out of the loop with how things work now, it all seems much more complicated than my divorce in 2002.

I'm at a loss what your STBEX is doing with his money if you are paying for everything. Honestly these men are such arseholes.

Wishing you the very best of luck with everything.

If you can agree a settlement you don’t need to go through form e. We had a solicitor write up a consent order

You need to declare everything. Not doing so is being in contempt of the court. That's why evidence is requested. You can't pick and choose what you wish to disclosed...at least not legally.